


Hitchhiking to Ghost Towns

by alexandriakeating



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Asexual!Levi, Awkward Conversations, Camping, Denial, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Hitchhiking, Internalized Homophobia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Road Trips, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, long car rides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 39,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4442576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandriakeating/pseuds/alexandriakeating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just...I need some time, okay?”</p>
<p>“For Erwin to leave? You think things are just going to fix themselves if you avoid it long enough? That's not how it works.”</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>He wasn't running away. He was choosing his battles. Levi just needed to get out of town and away from Erwin. He was tired of feeling like the man's pet project. He had no plan, no strategy. Just drive away and wait until he could return to his apartment and not find him there.</p>
<p>He wasn't expecting to pick up a hitchhiker--a young man on the side of the road whose brunet hair lay in a shaggy mess over his face and whose hand that wasn't busy hailing a ride pulled the already low-resting band of his jeans lower.</p>
<p>He wasn't expecting to get dragged into the stranger's own battles and somehow finding the strength there to fight his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Running

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my way of procrastinating/rewarding myself after I write a chapter in my novel.
> 
> I recently watch Cloudburst (it's on US Netflix if you are curious). It's a sweet movie. Well, on of the characters was a hitchhiker that the elderly couple picked up. I somehow manged to turn that into a story for these two. I don't even know. That's where any similarity/inspiration ends, except for the reason Eren is hitchhiking.
> 
> I have the vaguest of vague ideas of where this is going. I've got a plan for everything except, well, when shit hits the fan (when everything goes down/climax/whatever you call it). Wee! This will be a fun ride. I haven't actually written a full blown, multi-chapter fic for these two yet. I also have yet to write a fanfic that I haven't had at least had a outline for since my very first one several years ago. Eesh...this will be an interesting experience. I may ask for reader opinions/speculations and take inspiration there (credit given, of course).
> 
> Welp. That's about it. This is written in my spare time, as I said in either procrastination or reward. School will start in a month, too, so I have no idea how frequent updates will be. If there is a decent enough following or just one person who really wants to read it, I'll try to do a chapter a week. This probably won't be too long. 30k. 50k at most. (I hope.)
> 
> I'm just delaying now. I hope you enjoy!

“I've never known you to run away from a fight, Levi.”

“I'm not running, Four Eyes,” he growled. He snatched a handful of undershirts out of the drawer, but he still took the time to neatly fold them before placing them in his suitcase.

“It sure looks like running to me,” she replied, leaning back onto her hand.

“It's not.”

Hanji pouted before twisting her body so that her torso rested on the bed. She propped her chin on her fist. “You're packing your bag, leaving a note, and getting lost for a few days so that he's hopefully packed and out of your life when you get back.”

“Yes.”

“It sounds an awful lot like running away.”

He slammed the suitcase shut and zipped it closed with a growl. “I'm choosing my battles and making a plan. I won't get my desired result if I stay here.”

“Do you honestly think he won't respect your decision if you just talk with him?”

“No,” he bit out. “I don't think I'll be able to even say what I want to him if I have to look him in the fucking eye.”

“You? Tongue-tied? I can't imagine you not being able to say what's on your mind.”

“I can't imagine you being supportive and quiet for more than five seconds,” he snapped back.

Her eyes widened to a comical size behind her glasses. “Ouch. That hurt, Mr. Grumpy Pants. I'm trying to help you.”

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know,” he groaned, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Fabric rustled against the comforter and two arms wrapped around him. A sharp chin dug into his shoulder and the cold metal of glasses pressed against his cheek.

“I'm sorry, my little grumpy baby.” She took a deep breath, her chest pushing against his back. When she started to speak again, her voice was quietly somber. “I know how hard this is. I just...it's so odd to think of you two not together. You're both my friends. And. Not telling him...you two not.” She sighed and squeezed his shoulders tighter. “I'm trying to be supportive.”

Levi raised his hands and rested them on her elbows. He rubbed his thumbs against her arms; the fabric of her long sleeved shirt bunched underneath the movement. “I know,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

“No problem-o.”

“It's not easy for me too.”

Hanji pulled away from him and sat down next to him, crossing her legs and curling her feet up underneath her butt. He welcomed the change and rested his head against her shoulder.

“I love him. I always will.”

“You just aren't _in_ love,” she responded.

“No. Feeling like you are someone's pet project tends to do that to you.”

“I'm sorry, baby.” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. “If it makes you feel any better, I don't think he recognizes that he makes you feel that way.”

“I don't think so, too. It makes it worse. You can't change what you don't know. You can't hate what they can't change.”

Shrugging himself out of her grip, he stood up, picked up the small carry-on sized suitcase, and set it on the floor. He pulled the handle up and rolled it into the living room.

Hanji followed slowly. She leaned against the door frame, studying her friend for a moment. “You aren't little Miss Perfect in this relationship either.”

Levi's brows furrowed as he stuffed his laptop into his laptop bag. “I know. But, we just also aren't perfect together. We don't compliment each other.” He paused for a moment to gather his racing thoughts. “We aggravate each other. Nothing can come from that.”

“Aw. My baby is such a romantic.”

He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He pushed his palms over his head and through his hair. The stubbly strands of his undercut pricked against his fingertips as he massaged the base of his head and neck. “Maybe that's my problem.”

“No, Levi,” Hanji crooned as she walked across the room and sat on the back of the sofa. “It's one of your best and most surprising qualities.”

“But, it's such a pain. What's perfect anyways?”

“I don't know,” she said. Her brown eyes studied the ceiling for a moment. “I think you know when you find it. It's just...comfort and safety.”

“Thank you for all the help, Four-Eyes,” he muttered sarcastically.

She looked down and smiled widely. “That's what I'm here for!”

Levi rolled his eyes and picked up the letter on the table. He waved it in the air between them. “Make sure he gets this, okay?”

“I know. I know. When's Farlan supposed to be—”

A sharp knock vibrated the front door.

Hanji leapt up and skidded to a halt in front the door. She peered through the peephole and opened the door. “Speak of the devil!” she cheered as she let Farlan in.

He shook his head at her antics and headed straight for Levi. His eyes scanned the suitcase and laptop bag. “So, you're really doing this, huh?”

“Yes.”

The young man sighed and dug a set of keys out of his pocket. Tossing them at Levi, who caught them with ease, he said, “There. I just got her cleaned up for you. Tank full. Treat her kindly.”

“Tch,” he breathed out between his teeth. “She'll be fine. You didn't say anything to Isabel, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

“Remind me again why you needed my car?”

“Because Erwin brought mine to the shop the other day, and I can't take his. You kindly offered.”

“I kindly gave in to a very terrifying ultimatum.”

Levi shrugged and draped the strap of his bag over his shoulder. “Same thing.”

Hanji clapped her hands and rubbed them together. “C'mon. You best be going. I don't know how long Mike can keep him out for.”

“You didn't—”

“No,” she drawled out like she was telling a small child. “I just said I wanted some time with you.”

Levi nodded. “I'm going.”

He headed out of his apartment door with his friends on his heels. Locking the door, he picked up his suitcase and walked down the two flights of stairs before heading outside to the parking lot and Farlan's beat up blue truck. Opening the front door, he pushed the front seat down and set his suitcase on the narrow backseat and tucked his laptop bag on the floor behind his seat. He raised an eye at the small ice chest resting in the middle on the floor behind the arm rest. He stood up and looked at Farlan.

He shrugged. “I figured you might get hungry driving. Some grapes, a few sandwiches, chips, water. Things like that. Not much.”

Levi's shoulders slumped for a minute. His lips twitched. Stepping forward, he wrapped his friend up in a brief, tight hug. “Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Farlan returned the gesture. “No problem. Remember that she sticks when shifting from second to third.”

“Tch. I know,” he said letting go and looking at Hanji. “I'll keep in touch, just to see how things go.”

She nodded before jumping on him and tackling him for a hug.

He let out a solid 'oof' and stabilized himself against the side of the truck.

After a moment she let go and stepped away. “I wish you two could just talk it out. I don't like seeing you upset, and I'm not looking forward to seeing him upset.”

“I'm sorry that you're stuck in the middle of this.”

“If things escalate, I can always call Petra. She's good at calming everyone down.”

“That she is. Okay. I'll see you in a few days.”

His friends nodded and stepped back to the curb as he climbed in and started the truck. Buckling his seat belt, he gave one final wave before backing out and driving off.

He drove in tense silence until he hit the freeway. Once his tires hit the pavement and droned a steady seventy miles per hour, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Reaching forward, he flicked on the radio and began to turn through the stations. He didn't recognize any of the music, but he decided to settle on the station playing a crooning upbeat song that fit the steady heat pouring through the windows and the stretch of nothing he was approaching.

His fingers drummed restlessly against the steering wheel; they tapped out no particular beat or pattern as he tried to distract his mind from the thoughts that he knew lurked in the distance, just off the horizon.

Growling, he beat the palm of his hand against the wheel. His heart clenched. His breath came out in short, strangled puffs. Heat prickled his eyes, and his vision blurred. He rubbed the back of his hand across his face and tried to ignore the dull ache that was quickly setting into his limbs, stilling his muscles, and weighing down his bones.

He couldn't do this.

Taking the deepest breath his spasming lungs and esophagus would allow him to, he took a fast approaching exit and pulled into the first parking lot he found. With muffled shout, he shifted into park and slammed his hands on the steering wheel. He threw the car door open and jumped out. Hollering, he gave the back tire a few swift kicks before punching the side of the truck a few times until he felt the skin on his knuckles crack.

Hissing, he focused on the stinging pain that sprouted and clouded his hands. He focused on the feeling. On just _feeling_. Turning around, he pressed his back against the truck and slid down until he sat on the pavement with a heavy jolt. His left leg stretched out in front of him. He propped his right up and rested his elbow on his knee. His eyes studied the budding blood on his knuckles, the broken and dried skin. 

His head fell back with a thunk against the metal of the truck's side. He watched wisps of white curl across the blue sky until the raging and boiling emotions had simmered down enough to be lidded and put on the back-burner. He took a deep breath and stilled his trembling limbs.

It was just a break up.

That's all.

People did it all the time.

_How the hell can they when it feels like you are ripping a part of your soul off and tossing it away?_

He briefly wondered if this pain was worth it. Erwin wasn't that bad. They could talk it out and get rid of his misunderstandings.

But, he strongly believed they were misunderstandings.

Besides, he would never get two words out about his feelings after he looked at him with his brows lowered and lips curled in just a way that you couldn't decide if he was confused or mocking you. 

No.

He'd have just kept silent and bumbled along.

Grunting, he stood up and snatched his keys from the truck. He shut the door and headed into the McDonald's he had stopped at. Levi headed straight for the bathroom and turned the sink on. Wincing, he stuck his hands under the lukewarm water and watched as the stained water dribbled down the drain.

“Tsk,” he breathed out in annoyance.

Once the water ran clear again, he turned the faucet off with his elbow and shook the droplets of water off his hands. Looking around, he found the paper towel dispenser.

“Fuck.” Empty.

Pushing the door open with his hip, he walked up to the condiments and drink bar. Grabbing a handful of napkins, he dabbed at the red and raw flesh.

“Are you okay, sir?”

He looked up to see a young boy no older than sixteen peering at him from behind the counter. The employee pointed at his battered hands.

Levi smirked. “Peachy,” he replied with a huff, tossing away the used napkins. He grabbed a few extras in case he started bleeding again and left.

As he got ready to pull out of the parking lot, he debated which way to go. 

Head back to the freeway or go down this small highway?

Changing his blinker, he decided to turn right and head off along a shitty road surrounded by shitty buildings.

A blaring ring broke his concentration.

Scowling, he bit his tongue against the pain as he dug his phone out of his pocket. His stomach churned in a moment of panic before he saw 'Isabel' displayed on the caller ID.

He sighed and muttered a string of obscenities under his breath directed at Farlan. Hitting accept, he put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“YOU RAN AWAY!!”

Wincing, he pulled the phone away until the screeching died off. “The fuck,” he grumbled. He returned the phone to his ear to hear a distant Farlan pleading.

“Isabel calm—”

“Don't you say anything to me, traitor!” she snapped. Her voice quickly lost its venom. “How could you leave, big brother?” she whined.

She had pulled this stunt and that nickname ever since he'd met her. He had the look memorized. Even now, he could picture her wide eyes misting up, her lower lip torn between pouting and trembling, and her pigtails swinging back and forth softly as she tilted her head to maximize the hurt puppy look.

“Look, I'm not leaving you.”

“So why didn't you tell me?”

“Because you would have blabbed! You're worse than Hanji,” Farlan shouted in the distance.

Her voice moved away from the phone. “You take that back! I can keep a secret for Levi better than her!”

“Isabel,” Levi entreated.

“What?”

“I''m sorry for not telling you. I just wanted to slip out with few people noticing. I just...I need some time, okay?”

“For Erwin to leave? You think things are just going to fix themselves if you avoid it long enough? That's not how it works.”

“I've got it all worked out, okay?”

She huffed. “I don't think so. I think you're just—mmrfff.” Her voice cut off in a muffled scream of sound.

Farlan's voice flowed through the speaker next. “I'm sorry. Isabel's sorry, right?”

Levi heard a muffled “mhmm”. He imagined Farlan's hand was firmly clamped over the fiery red head's mouth.

“We'll see you when you get back. Don't be gone too long.”

“Good-bye.”

The phone call ended, and he tossed his phone onto the passenger's seat.

Groaning, he dragged a hand across his face. As he lowered his hand, his brows furrowed at the approaching sight.

A young man stood on the side of the road. One arm was stuck out into the road, his thumb raised in silent plea. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes. His brunet hair lay in a shaggy mess over his face; the wind picked up and dropped a few strands in play. What could be seen of his face was sharp and defined. His plaid shirt was unbutton and flapping restlessly at his sides. It could have been attributed to the heat if it wasn't for the fact that the hand that wasn't busy hailing a ride was pulling lower the already low-resting band of his jeans. Levi was convinced the only reason the tattered material wasn't falling off his hips was the belt not even latched on the third hole. A duffel bag and backpack sat in the dirt by his feet.

Levi slowed bit as he passed, pulling away from the side of the road to make sure he didn't hit the kid. He made the mistake of glancing out the window at him.

The brunet pushed his sunglasses into his hair. Loose strands flopped down and fell into his brilliant, rich blue eyes. His upper teeth dragged across his bottom lip as he looked down and slowly rolled his hips.

Rolling his eyes, he looked away and turned back to the road.

He gave in and checked the rear view mirror.

The kid's shoulders slumped. He spun and kicked the ground. A plume of loose dirt clouded around his feet. His lips parted for words Levi couldn't hear but could definitely imagine.

_Fuck_ . He must be out of his mind.

Shifting gears, he slowed up and pulled to the side of the road. He slammed his hand against the horn as he looked up to watch in the mirror.

He jumped and looked around. When he saw the truck, a wide smile broke across his face. He leapt into the air before swinging his backpack onto one shoulder and grabbing his duffel. Running towards the truck, his smile stayed present until he got closer. In the blink of any eye, he dropped his real feelings and picked up his act again.

Levi rolled down the passenger window as he put his duffel down on the ground.

The kid rested his arm on the top of the truck, leaning into the open window. His other hand played with the loose band of his jeans, reveal a dark trail of hair. His skin was well-tanned by the sun with a rich olive tone pulsing underneath. A cheeky smile pulled his lips. It dropped the moment he laid eyes on Levi. 

He stepped back. “Look, man, thanks for the ride offer, but I don't take it up the ass.”

“And I have no interest in giving it,” he shot back with a roll of his eyes.

“Well, I don't,” he started to splutter out.

“Look, kid, how many times am I going to have to tell you that I'm not interested until you believe me? You have any money?”

“What?”

“Tch.” He pinched the bridge of his nose before turning back to look at the kid.“Money. You do know what that is, brat? Help pay for gas. Buy your own food.”

He blinked. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Where are you heading?”

“Shiganshina.”

Well. He had no plans. “May as well. C'mon in,” he said, grabbing his phone off the seat and sticking it in the cup holder. He unlocked the door.

“Thanks, sir,” he said as he stuffed his duffel into the backseat, squishing it next to Levi's suitcase. He hopped in and set his backpack on the floor at his feet. He shut the door.

“Levi.”

“Eren,” he supplied with a shy smile.

He grunted in acknowledgment and pulled back out onto the road.

“I have no idea how to get to Shiganshina, just so you know. I hope you do.”

“I thought you were heading that way.”

He risked a glance at the flabbergasted face. Smirking, he said, “I have no plan. I'm just getting away for a while.”

Eren nodded solemnly. “Well, I asked for directions back there and the guy said that there's an on ramp to I-34 up here in a few miles. I know the way from there. You just keep to I-34 until you hit my city.”

Levi grunted in acknowledgment, and the two fell into companionable silence.

 


	2. So, Roadtrip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter in my novel done gives me one chapter of this!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

A throat clearing brought Levi's attention away from the road. His eyes flickered to the kid in the passenger seat. “What?” he grunted out.

“You happen to have any food?”

His brows furrowed. He looked at the stranger. “Really?”

“What?” he asked innocently. A sheepish smile pulled his lips, and he raised his hands up in a submissive appeasement. He shrugged his shoulders. “I'm hungry.”

“Did you not bring any food with you when you decided to run away?” Levi shot back, grumbling has he reached behind the seat to find the strap of the cooler Farlan had stashed. The rough material dug into his hands as he jerked it up and tossed it onto Eren's lap. “There. Take something. And for fuck's sake, don't make a mess.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied cheekily as he unzipped it and pushed through its contents in lazy curiosity. “And I'm not running away,” he mumbled underneath the pop of a chip bag as he opened it.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Can I put something else on? This music is depressing as shit,” he said, maneuvering around the question.

Levi sighed. He wasn't going to pry. He wasn't going to care. He understood wanting to keep your shit to yourself, so he indulged the kid. “Go for it. Just none of that rapping crap.”

Eren leaned over; his fingers hovered over the dial. “I take personal offense from that. Do I look like someone who would listen to that? Besides, you shouldn't judge on appearances. I may really enjoy the genre.”

“I don't know. If you haven't noticed, I made a point of my not looking at you. And like it all you want, just don't put any on for fuck's sake.”

He saw the kid bite the inside of his cheek. “All right, old man, we'll play it that way.”

“You better watch what you say or you'll find your ass on the hot blacktop before you can blink.”

“All right. All right. Don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that shit. You know,” he started saying around a mouthful of chips as he searched through the stations, listening for barely a second and leaving Levi wondering how he even knew what was playing, “I didn't fully understand that phrase when I was a kid.”

“You're still a kid.”

“I will elect to ignore that in light of my previous comment,” he inserted into his story without missing a beat. “And I didn't get what was bad about biting your hand. Like, I figured, sure, it would hurt and all, but was the world going to end? Was my food going to disappear? Were the gods going to curse me so that I could no longer eat? Well, one morning—I was like eight—while I was eating my cornflakes, I decided to test it out. So, with my spoon still in hand, which I honestly think was the stupidest aspect of this decision, I bit my hand. Right here at the base of my thumb. Like, not testing little nibble. I fucking bit.”

“And how was holding the spoon the problem with that decision?” he asked, lifting a condemning eyebrow and glancing over at him again. 

Eren paused in his radio search and mariachi music started to flow through the speakers. “Yes, the whole thing was stupid, I know that now,” he defended, “but because of the spoon and because I bit so damn hard, I dropped the spoon.”

Levi hissed in a breath between his teeth and shook his head. “Ooh, yeah. You're right. Dropping a spoon is definitely worse than a moment of injury through self-inflicted stupidity.”

“Ass,” he shouted around a smile. “I'll have you know that it knocked my bowl over and spilled my milk everywhere. Of course, my mom elected to ignore that in favor of getting me to the hospital. I should add it was summer and looking to be the hottest day on record. We're gone for like four hours because I need fucking 28 stitches. So, we get back to crusted, curdled, very spoiled milk all over my mom's favorite rug. She tried scrubbing it out the rest of the day but ended up having to toss it. After all the shit I put her through, she had to deal with that to. So, yes. The stupidest decision in that whole event.”

Finding a smile creeping at his lips, Levi rattled them. “Will you change the music or should I ban you from being in charge of the radio?”

A smile split Eren's face as he returned to flipping through stations. “So, I'm in charge of the radio now? Ha! You'll regret that.”

“I better not.”

“It's a fun story, though. Plus, I got this wicked scar from the whole incident which was all the rage among eight year old boys, I'll have you know.”

“I'm sure.”

“C'mon, look at this.”

A hand thrusted itself into his view, blocking the road before him and the semi in front that he'd been looking to pass.

Levi let out a string of curses and batted it away. “What the ever loving fuck are you doing? Dammit. You trying to get us fucking killed? Son of a bitch. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Woah there, sailor. Are you implying Jesus masturbating? I think the son of God is a bit too holy for that.”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he took a tight breath before and slowly let it go through his nostrils. “You're something else, kid. You always a little shit?” he asked, glancing over as he signaled and sped past the semi.

“I take that has a compliment,” he replied, smiling so wide his eyes crinkled.

Levi turned his eyes out the back window and made sure he was clear before moving back into the lane. “It wasn't meant as one.”

“Ah, but I take it as one.” 

“So, where you coming from anyways?” Levi asked, changing the subject.

“Stohess,” he answered quickly, returning the empty chip bag and popping open a tupperware of baby carrots. “Ranch would be nice. There wouldn't happen to be ranch in here, would there?”

“I don't know. I didn't pack it,” he responded, ignoring the questioning look. “And how did you get this far? I doubt you walked.”

He shook his head and bit into a carrot. “I got a bus ticket to Karenese, but I couldn't afford anything farther. I hitched a ride with an old woman to whatever-the-hell-town that was. I've been walking down the road since then.”

“Until you decided to bribe someone else for a ride.” Levi managed to catch the lightest blush color the kid's cheeks and continued, “That's illegal you know.”

“I'm not a minor!”

He smirked. “I never said you were. But hitchhiking and prostitution are illegal.”

Eren opened his mouth to retort but closed it around another baby carrot and chewed fiercely.

Familiar guitar spilled through the speakers, emphasized by the familiar beats of the drum.

Opening his mouth to ask Eren to turn it up along with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Levi frowned when it didn't come. When strange lyrics covered up familiar sound, he punched out a 'tch'. “What the hell is this?”

He could feel the wide and judging gaze on him. “What do you mean? This is a classic summer song!”

“No. A classic would be the original they sampled.”

“Oh, c'mon, I love 'Sweet Home Alabama' has much as the next guy, but this song is great. It's fun. You're letting your age show.”

“I'll have you know that song came out before I was born; age has nothing to do with it. It's purely—”

“Knowing what good music is?” the kid finished for him with wide grin. “Yeah. Yeah. Music doesn't have to be groundbreaking or unknown or technically flawless for it to be good. Shitty songs can be as great as good ones. It's all about feeling. If it makes you feel or makes you remember, then it's great. I like some shitty songs because I've got some of the fucking greatest memories tied to them.”

“If it wasn't for your appearance, I might take you seriously as some modern philosopher trying to understand humanity through its music. Right now, you look like a cowboy turned stripper in effort to save his farm.”

One of the purest laughs Levi had ever heard chimed from Eren. He jumped and stared at the kid who was doubled over, hands grasping his knees. He looked up at Levi; what could be seen of his eyes behind the fallen strands of hair was pinched in mirth. Taking a deep breath, he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. He froze with his elbows posed upwards. A sly smiled pulled at his lips.

“Wait a second,” he said. He raised an eyebrow and flicked a finger between them. “I thought _you_ were making a point of not looking at _me._ ”

“Don't read too much into it. The one glance on the side of the road was more than enough for me. I'm content,” he muttered sarcastically. “It shall last me all through my life and darkest days.”

“Fuckin' pervert,” Eren said, his dark tone destroying any chance of his words being considered a continuation of their banter.

Levi looked over, startled at the turn he had taken. Eren's face was drawn tight. His lips were pinched tightly together; a slight frown pulling the corners downward. The kid's body was rigid in its slumped posture. His arms crossed over his stomach, and his right foot was resting on his left knee. He knew he had shitty people skills, but he thought that banter had been going well. What had he said?

The two sat quietly, staring out at the expanse of bare desert without a car in sight. The end of the song barely filled the expanding silence between them. A lap of dead air buzzed through the car before the next song came on. The electric guitar punched through, vibrating in the depths of Levi's chest.

“Hell yeah!”

Levi looked over. All tension had flown from the kid's body. He was loose and buzzing as he jumped up and started banging against his knees and the dashboard with the drums. His mouth hung wide in a smile.

“You should enjoy this,” he said. “It's an oldie, not any of that damn modern garbage.”

Shaking his head, Levi turned back to the still empty road and barren scenery. “One, I never said anything along the lines of 'modern garbage'. Two, if that's another jab at my age you can kiss the air conditioning goodbye. I hope you've got protection from heatstroke in that duffel of yours. You could be waiting a while.”

“No. Nope.” He laughed. “Definitely not. Just implying it's a classic. C'mon, this is a perfect road trip song,” he said, banging his head to the beat. Levi could feel the motions moving and shaking the truck. His brunet hair flew in all directions, refusing to obey the laws of gravity not hold.

“Who said anything about this being a road trip?”

“I did.”

“Well, it's not.”

“Sorry,” he said, as he cranked the volume up until he had to shout to be heard. “Can't hear you over the music.” He flashed one last cheeky grin before going all out and lip-yelling, “I'm on the highway to hell!” The muscles in his neck and arms were strained and tight as he kept up his air drumming.

Levi couldn't help the smile that was fitting to dominate his lips. He wasn't sure if the pounding in his chest was the blaring beat, the desire to laugh, or indigestion. He found his fingers tapping out the beat against the steering wheel.

His eardrums were given the briefest reprieve while Eren turned it down to shout, “Go! Faster!” He waved his hands out to the highway. His whole body wide and vibrating with an open energy and enthusiasm.

“Speed limits are a thing,” Levi shouted, shaking his head.

“And there aren't any cars. Push down on that gas pedal and fucking drive, gramps!”

The black haired man should be making good on his promise to throw the kid out with the crack at his age (which in his defense was not old but a respectable 32, the kid was just young), but he found his heart pounding along with the song as his foot pushed down harder on the gas pedal. He watched as the needle went past seventy, eighty, ninety. Soon Farlan's old truck was pushing past a hundred.

Eren whooped and hollered at the increased speed as he fully threw himself into the guitar solo.

As the song mellowed to an end, they both slowly came down from the music induced high as Levi slowed back down to the speed limit.

The radio had been returned to a quiet mumbling level, but it was Eren's heavy breathing that filled the cab of the truck. He gave a breathy laugh and pushed the sweat dampened strands of hair from his face. His eyes squinted against the setting sun; the golden light hitting him directly in the face. Levi found himself doing a double take at the copper halo that glowed around his hair and the rich color that the light had given his skin.

Eren turned and met his eyes. He gave a wavering smile and licked his lips as he continued to pant.

“Tch.” Levi rolled his eyes back to the road. The next town has ten miles away. It'd be another fifty after that, and he was getting tired of driving. “One song and you're already sweating. That's not healthy for someone your age. It should take a good seven, ten songs.”

“Oh? And you're a health expert now? Well, I'll have you know that I was giving my all in that performance. I have the right to be a bit out of breath. And,” he held up a finger and took a deep breath, “I will _also_ have you know that I am in wonderful shape.”

He shook his head and pushed a loose strand of hair from his fringe behind his ear. “I'm stopping at the next town. I'm exhausted, and I want to sleep.”

Eren hummed in acknowledgment. He tucked a leg underneath him and propped his other foot on the seat. He wrapped his arm around his leg, and rested his cheek on his knee. “You look like my sister.”

“Well, she's _yours_.”

“Adopted. Who knows. You could be my brother.”

“I don't have any siblings,” he said. He found himself speeding up. It wasn't that he was tiring of Eren's company—he had actually enjoyed the conversation—he was just tiring of the whole affair. He wanted to sleep. He wanted this to end. He wanted his bed. He wanted Er— _fuck_! He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and pushed down harder, speeding to the approaching exit. This whole trip was to forget about _him_.

“And you're a killjoy,” Eren babbled on without noticing Levi's inner monologue. “Honestly, you act like her, too. She was all over my case when I was younger.”

“I can imagine,” he said, turning left at the stop sign off the exit. A motel sign blazed harsh, red neon ahead. “You seem like you'd be a handful. _That_ is also not a compliment.”

Eren simply laughed and shrugged the comment off as Levi pulled into a parking space.

“Do you want to split a double room or both get singles?” Levi asked as he turned the truck off. “The former would be cheaper, but I'd get why you wouldn't want to share a room with a stranger, especially in a shitty place like this.” He unbuckled and opened the door.

“Um.” Eren scratched the back of his neck. “How much would a room here be?” 

“Tch, I don't know,” he said sliding outside. “That's why we go in and ask and see what's available.”

“Because, I can't afford motels all the way home unless we find some really fucking cheap motels.”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. Glaring, he asked, “So, exactly how much money do you have?”

“Um...forty bucks,” Eren answered, unfolding himself and opening the door.

“Fuck. That's it?”

“Yeah,” he said and slid out. 

“You said you had money.”

“I do!” he said, raising his voice. “Just not that much,” he finished sheepishly. “I told you I spent money on a bus ticket. Don't worry, I can just sleep in the truck.”

Levi growled and slammed the door shut. “I'm not going to fucking leave you in the truck when there's a perfectly good bed in there,” he said tersely, jutting a finger at the motel. “Well, it depends on your hygiene standards. Actually, forget that. No. I'll forget it. I won't sleep if I don't.”

Eren slowly closed the door. “You sure?”

“Yeah, but we're going with the cheapest option. No matter the bed situation.”

The kid paused for a moment before nodding. “Deal.”

“C'mon.”

The two headed into the dingy white building filled with harsh yellow light. A tiny bell announced their entrance. The inside was the same dingy white as the outside walls from floor to ceiling. The one variation in color was the dark yellow stain on the ceiling steadily dripping water into the center of the room. A mold green couch sat on the left wall near a fake plant.

“We save you money by never updating or up-keeping our lobby and rooms,” Levi muttered.

Eren tried to repress a snorted chuckle.

The receptionist looked up and smiled. “Good evening, gentlemen. How may I help you?”

Levi walked up to the desk and leaned his elbow on it. He frowned at the layer of dust on it and retracted the limb. “We're just in for tonight. What do you have available?”

A few strokes across the keyboard later, and she said, “We've got two triples, four doubles and a single.”

“Is the single a single bed or a double?”

“Um...that would be a double, sir.”

“How much is it versus a double room?”

“The single is $46 a night and the double is $56.”

Levi turned and raised an eyebrow in question a Eren.

He refused to meet his eyes and swallowed. “Just get the single. I can give you back a bit more in comparison for that one.”

The man studied the anxious shifting weight. “You sure?”

“I said it's fine,” he snapped. “I'll got get my duffel and wait by the truck.”

The bell rang angrily as he left.

Levi sighed and pulled out his wallet. “The single, please. Just for tonight.”

The woman nodded and took his card. “Is everything ok with your boyfriend?” she asked as she ran the card.

“He's not my boyfriend.”

“Oh? I'm sorry. It's just—I thought—you seemed fairly, ehm, comfortable with each other.”

“We're perfect strangers. Just met today.”

“Oh,” she exclaimed handing over the key and card, her eyebrows widening.

He pointed a finger at her. “No. That's not it. We're just heading to the same place. I'm giving him a ride.”

She nodded. “Well, sir, your room number is four. Just head out the door and turn right. Matt will come in at eight and be here until one. The desk will open again at eight in the morning. Check out time is eleven. Enjoy your stay!”

He gave a small wave and headed out.

Eren sat on the hood of the truck, backpack on shoulder, duffel on ground, and earbuds in ear.

Levi flashed the key as he headed to truck to grab his suitcase. “C'mon, kid. Shower and bed.”

He had dropped down and slung his duffel over his shoulder. “What about food?”

Fighting back a smirk, he said, “Of course, I shouldn't deprive a growing boy of his food.” After grabbing the cooler, he locked the truck and headed to their hotel room. He unlocked the door, pushed it open and flicked on the lights. “Fuck.”

“Are you sure I can't sleep in the truck?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs referenced:  
> 1\. [Kid Rock's 'All Summer Long'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYMY7JpnK9g)  
> 2\. [ACDC's 'Highway to Hell'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKggnBh2Mdw)


	3. Late Night Chats in a Strange Bed

The walls may have been white at one point, but now they just looked gray. The paint peeled in long strips and short chips from ceiling to floor. Crusty purple carpet covered the floor. A brown chair and a tilting lamp were pushed in the corner by the window. The bed was tilted to the right and back so that the head was lower than the feet. The headboard was a banged up sheet of wood that looked like it had been grabbed from the nearest Home Depot and had been given a once over with a shitty wood stain. The pillows were thin and limp. Night stands sat on either side.

Levi didn't want to think about what the stains on the comforter were.

He didn't want to look into the bathroom and assess the damage.

He tightened his throat against the churning bile bubbling up.

“God is not here,” he muttered.

His looked down at the carpet. He didn't even want to step on it with his shoes on, forget socks, forget putting his luggage on it.

Well, if anything was stronger than his sense of cleanliness, it was his frugality.

Tightening his grip on his bag, Levi swore and walked inside. “I have Lysol and Clorox wipes. And enough hand sanitizer to bathe in. I'm fucking prepared. Like hell I'm wasting my money.” He set his suitcase and the cooler in the armchair.

Quiet laughter followed him into the room.

He glanced over his shoulder to see Eren shaking out his hair and dumping his bags onto the bed with a wince. Unzipping his duffel, he said, “I've got a blanket in here somewhere.” He flashed Levi a smile. “I came prepared, too.” Eren turned back to searching through his clothes. “If the sheets are as disgusting as this we can lay this on it.”

“Smart, kid,” he commented as he walked over. “But that won't matter much if we've got bedbugs.” Scowling, he grabbed a fistful of sheet and comforter at the corner of the bed and pulled it up.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for bedbugs.”

“That shit's real?”

He rolled his eyes and threw Eren a look. “Yes.” He turned back to his examination, peeling and shifting through the sheets. Levi scooted across the floor on his knees. He examined the edge of the bed as he went.

After a thorough perimeter search, he stood and strode across the floor to his suitcase. He squeezed a generous dollop of hand sanitizer in his palm and scrubbed furiously.

“So?”

“It's clean. Shitty, but it's clean. I'll give this place that: no bedbugs. Not many chain places can say that.”

“Wait. Really?”

Levi nodded and turned around, rubbing the alcoholic gel up to his elbows. “It's always a good idea to check.”

A shiver shook Eren's body. His limbs spasmed as he bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet. “This is where 'ignorance is bliss' is very much accurate.”

Shaking his head at Eren's poor grammar, Levi said, “You can pull that comforter off and see what the sheets are like. If the bottom's fine, we can use that. If not, you can lay it down. I'm going to see what state the bathroom's in.”

“Sounds good.”

Armed with Clorox wipes and a can of Lysol at the ready, he peered into the bathroom. Dingy white. That was about it. The toilet bowl was streaked with tan and gray stains. The air was stuffy and stale with disuse, not uncleanliness. He pushed the dull shower curtain back and glared at the tub floor.

“Tsk.” 

He wanted a shower and his bare feet were  _not_ touching that even if it looked fine. After dousing it with Lysol—his nose buried in his elbow—he gave it a vigorous scrub down with a handful of wipes. He cleaned the floor and toilet seat, too, for good measure. The streaky mirror could stay. That was more annoying than disgusting.

Eren had kicked his shoes off and was lounging on the left side of the bed. His jeans had slipped lower, and he had still failed to button his shirt, to reveal tuffs of dark hair curling out from underneath the material. He had propped himself up on the headboard and was scrolling through his phone. A white power cord snaked from his phone to the sacrificed clock's power source. His blanket was bunched up along the middle of the bed.

Shaking his head, he crossed the room to his suitcase. “If you need to take a piss, do it. I'm taking a shower.”

“What about me?” Levi could hear the pout.

“You are more than welcomed to take one after me.”

“Why can't I go first? It's been three days!”

Levi wrinkled his nose and turned around; a thin, gray shirt balled in his fist. “That explains the smell.”

“Har. Har. You didn't say anything.”

“It's called being polite,” he shot back with ease. His chest felt lighter. It had been so long since he had done this. _He_ wasn't one for banter. And Hanji sometimes had a hard time understanding that she needed to stop talking for him to respond most of the time. Isabel had the same problem, and Farlan took things too literal; it mainly went over his head. This kid, though, he was able to keep up with him, when his sudden mood changes didn't factor in. 

“Please, no need to be polite at the expense of my personal hygiene.” Eren smirked as he stood up and went into the bathroom.

Levi gave a breathy laugh and grabbed the rest of his bathroom supplies. His foot tapped impatiently as he heard the toilet flush and the tap run.

The door opened and Eren stepped out. He held the door open and gave a deep bow. “All yours.” He smirked.

Giving him a glare, he walked past him and shut the door behind him. He turned the water on and tossed his towel over the curtain rod—like hell he was going to use the motel's . Within seconds steam was curling up from the deluge of water. He stripped, setting his clean and dirty clothes next to each other on the sink. He climbed in started scrubbing his skin. He massaged the shampoo into his scalp. He swiped away the cobwebs of delicate bubbles that stretched across his stomach, chest, and arms.

Levi stood under the steady stream of hot water and let it pound the skin of his shoulders until they were read and raw.

He started feeling guilty about using up all the hot water and shut it off. He stood for a minute in the steamy bathroom, his vision hazy. Water dribbled from his hair down his chin. Drying off quickly, he dressed and brushed his teeth. He draped his towel over his shoulder and grabbed his dirty clothes.

“Finally, man. And I thought I took long showers,” Eren said when he stepped out.

Levi ignored the comment and stuffed his used clothes into a garbage bag. “Just take your shower. There should still be some hot water.”

“How generous.” The bathroom door shut.

He grabbed his phone, headphones and a book. Shuffling over to bed, he plugged in his phone. He sat down and sunk into the mattress. He frowned; he preferred something firmer. He pushed his back into the headboard and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles. He opened his book and began reading.

It wasn't until a drop of water marred his page that he realized Eren was out of the bathroom. He knelt on his side of the bed and leaned over the book, twisting his head to try and read the page. Droplets of water hung from the ends of his hair. “Whatcha reading?”

Levi growled and shoved his head away. “Watch it, brat. You'll ruin the page.”

Eren's arms flailed as he lost his balance and toppled backwards. His eyes widened almost comically as he fell off the bed.

“Shit.” Levi jumped to his feet and dashed around the bed.

He was sprawled out on the floor; his arms tossed to the side, and his feet propped up on the bed. He stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. His jaw was slack.

Levi knelt down next to him; his hand hovered over Eren's shoulder. “You okay?”

He groaned and grabbed the back of his head; he rolled onto his side towards Levi. “Fuck. Ow.”

“Do you need help back on the bed? This floor is filthy.”

Eren shook his head. “No.” He grunted and pulled himself up. “No, I got it.”

Levi nodded and stood. He went to the cooler and grabbed a chilled water bottle and a ham and cheese sandwich. He placed the water against the back of Eren's head. “Hold this.”

His hand obeyed without hesitation; their fingers brushed together briefly. Eren's fingertips were rough and calloused.

He tossed the sandwich onto his lap. “Eat. Don't rush and get nauseous.”

He smirked. “Thanks, dad.”

Levi's face flattened, beyond scowl and beyond resting bitch face. “Say that again and I'll purposefully push you off this bed.”

He bit into his sandwich. “You sure are touchy about age. C'mon, you can't be that old.”

“I'm not.”

“How old are you?”

It was Levi's turn to smirk. “I'm not a minor.”

A pillow smacked his face. “I'm done talking to you.”

His laugh was cut short by his ringing phone. He stared at the glowing screen for a moment, worry coiling in the bottom of his stomach.

“You gonna get that?” Eren asked around a bit of sandwich.

“I thought you weren't talking to me,” he replied. He stepped up to his phone. The Caller ID read “Hanji”. He unplugged his phone; his thumb hovered over the answer icon. “I'm thirty-two,” he said, feeling compelled to give a truthful answer.

Answering the phone, he turned around before Eren could respond. “Hello, Four-Eyes.” He sat down on the bed with his back to the kid.

“You should be thanking me, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Do you know how hard it's been to keep him away from his phone? He tried to _steal mine_!”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess it didn't go so well.”

“Noooo,” Hanji drew out. “It's fine. Perfectly peachy. He skulked around your apartment the whole day, refusing to believe it. He was dead positive that you were just doing this to test him and you'd come back in a few hours. Then, when he realized that wasn't working out, he became the most perfect passive aggressive asshole.” She sighed. Something in the background creaked.

“And that's why it won't work out. He never takes me seriously. He acts like I'm a child throwing a tantrum whenever I bring up anything.”

Her humming came through the receiver. “I had to leave. I couldn't put up with his pouting much longer. Don't worry, I'll keep in contact. Let you know when he's out and all.”

He breathed out. “Thanks.”

She was silent, and Levi was starting to worry. The familiar feeling pooled back into his gut. “You know—”

“No. Fuck no. We talked about this already.”

“But it would be so much better! You _are_ handling this like a child.”

“I already told you. I can't—” His voice cracked, and Levi became acutely aware of the eyes boring into the back of his neck. “I can't.”

“Look, Levi, you're both my friends, and this is killing me. Really. It is, but Erwin deserves more than a letter and the silent treatment. Running away isn't going to solve anything.

His jaw tightened. “Why are you taking Erwin's side?”

“Goddammit, Levi,” she shouted, “I'm not taking anyone's side! You are _both_ my friends. You are _both_ being stupid. And you _both_ are going about this the wrong way. I'm trying to help you, _both of you_. Dammit. I'm trying to be supportive. I _am_ being supportive.”

He propped an elbow on his knee and buried his face in his hand. “I know. I just  _can't_ , Hanji.”

She sighed and whispered, “I know, my poor baby. So,” she cheered, “how was the drive?”

“Fine. I'm sitting in one of the shittiest motel's I've ever seen with a hitchhiking brat I found on the side of the highway.”

“Hey!” Eren hollered.

“What?” she screeched. “Was that him? He sounded cute. Man, Levi, I didn't think you had it in you.” She howled with laughter. “You're moving on so fast!”

“Shut the hell up.”

It took several gasping breaths before she could talk. “I'm sorry. It's just too good an opportunity to let fly by. Well, rest well. Don't get killed,” she chimed in a sing-song voice.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, dear.” Her voice was steady and sweet.

He hung up and plugged his phone in again. He leaned over onto his elbows and carded his fingers through his hair. The damp strands flopped lifelessly on his face.

“Half a sandwich?”

Levi looked over his shoulder to see Eren extending the rest of his sandwich with a small smile. “Thanks.” He grabbed it and finished it in three bites.

“Water?” He smirked and held out the now lukewarm water bottle.

He raised an eyebrow. “I'm good.”

Eren laughed and popped the cap off. He chugged the water and set the crinkled, empty bottle on the bedside table. 

“You staying up?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to turn the lights off.”

He waved his hand and pulled the sheet over him. “Go for it.”

Levi nodded and shuffled over to the switch. After turning it off, he crawled back in bed. He laid on his back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey, Levi?” Eren's voice floated to him tentatively in the darkness.

He grunted. “Hm?”

“You don't have to answer, but...um...who were you talking to?”

“A friend.”

The silence didn't last long.

“Who's Erwin?”

“My boy—” he cut himself off and sighed. “My ex-boyfriend.”

Eren's breath caught in his throat. The bed shook as he shifted his body. “Um...who broke up with who?”

“I wrote him a letter and left,” he said briskly.

“Why?”

“Why what?” he grumbled, twisting his body and pushing deeper into the nonexistent pillow.

“Why'd you break up with him?”

Levi swallowed hard. Perhaps it was the cloaking darkness that gave him courage to speak. Perhaps it was the level of anonymity. Perhaps it was both. “He's the kind of man who would risk anything and anyone to see a plan to the end, especially himself if need be. And he's got it in his head that his plan for life is to 'help' as many people as possible. That's his problem.”

“Why?”

_Does he every ask something besides that?_ “He has to be a hero. Save every fucking person he meets whether they want or need it. He eventually stops caring for the person and only the prestigious outcome of his plan to 'be a good influence' and 'better the lives of the lower individuals shunned by society'. Keep an image and all. Be the wise-know-it-all father figure; hold high expectations and don't hesitate in expresses shame when someone fails. Push your ideals.” Levi took a deep breath, yawning against the budding tears of frustration. “That's what it feels like anyways.”

“That has to suck.”

He turned his head to look at the dark shape to his right. It was hunched close to the mattress and pulled into itself. “Why?” _There I am asking it now_.

A shaky breath filled the space between them. “Well, in a friend that'd be crappy and annoying at best, but in a serious relationship? It'd be like...you would never know what he'd do, but you would because he's got to self-sacrifice. You'd always wonder if he was going to do something stupid. You'd always wonder if he really just saw you as a fix-it-up pity project to push his ego that he decided to keep for good measure. I mean, I'd feel smothered. Like, I couldn't just be me without feeling like I'd be judged and condemned and brought back to the safe little bubble he'd created for me—for my own good of course. Like I...” he paused, his steady breathing the only sound for several minutes. “Like I was still a child who couldn't take care of itself. He could actually be a decent guy underneath. Good intentions and all that shit. But, I couldn't shake the feeling. Not a good base for a relationship.”

A laugh punched its way through his lips once. “Yeah, kid. It's exactly like that.”

He had thought Eren had fallen asleep when he spoke up again. “I thought you weren't gay.”

“I'm not,” he replied on beat.

“But...boyfriend?”

“There's more than two sexualities.” He took a deep breath and dragged a hand over his face. _Why the hell not?_ “I'm asexual.”

He waits in silence. Eren's breathing hasn't changed, and he has no other way to judge his reaction.

“What about you?”

“You have to be more specific, kid.”

“What kind of man are you?”

“Save the lives before the plan.”

“Sounds noble,” he whispered.

“I assure you, kid. Those intentions are purely selfish,” he grumbled as he rolled onto his side away from Eren. He tucked his arm under his pillow and held it close to his head. 

He wasn't sure when or if Eren fell asleep. All he knew was that he feel asleep to the steady pace of his breaths. It was nice falling asleep with someone just  _there_ . 

 


	4. Car Ride Story Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I was swept up in pre-college prep. I move back into the dorms at the end of the week, so I've been prepping. I also got into my novel (which was the goal). 
> 
> Since school is starting up soon, I don't know how frequently I'll get to post, but I hope to never be more than a month between updates.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“I feel so filthy,” Levi muttered as he tossed his suitcase into the truck.

“You took two showers!” Eren exclaimed from the other side. He opened the door and swung himself in. He chucked his duffel into the back without a second thought.

He poured hand sanitizer on his hands and rubbed it into his skin with a vengeance. They still smelled like the stale metal of the motel key. “I would have taken another if I thought it would help.” He briefly entertained the thought of scrubbing his face and neck with the sanitizer as well, but he doubted that would be good for his skin.

“Why wouldn't it? I don't get it. You took one after sleeping, so all that sheet grime's been washed off.”

He pulled himself up into the truck and slammed the door shut. “Please don't remind me of those sheets,” Levi grumbled as he stuck the key in the ignition and turned it on.

Eren shook his head. His lips were pulled up in a smile, but his brows were scrunched up in confusion.

As Levi merged back onto the highway, Eren asked, “So, what's your deal with being clean anyways. Like, I get bedbugs and toe fungus in the shower and shit.”

He now had a strong impulse to stick his feet in a bucket of bleach and throw his socks and shoes away.

“But, don't you get—aren't you a bit OCD about it?”

Levi shrugged. “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” he repeated the phrase that had both haunted and motivated him. “I don't like dirt. It makes me feel filthy, and that brings up too many unhappy memories of times I'd rather forget,” he answered briskly.

“Like?”

He shook his head. “Nice try, but I'm not telling you.”

Eren gave a soft grunt, but Levi wasn't sure if it was in understanding or disappointment. He reached out and turned up the radio, flipping mindlessly through channels. He stopped on one. His eyes widened at the song. “Have you seen the guy who sings this?” he demanded.

“No. I don't even know the song.”

“Really? No. This guy. I swear. That voice should not come out of his body.”

“How you figure that?”

“He's this scrawny little blonde. Okay. Not scrawny—Armin's a scrawny little blonde. But, he's got this kinda teen-pop-star-Justin-Bieber look. And then he sings and it's that fucking deep melodious shit.”

Levi arched a brow in amusement.“What's his name?”

His face dropped for a moment for screwing up tightly. “Um...George, I think. George something.”

“George?”

“Yeah!”

Levi nodded and focused on the road.

Eren bobbed his head along to the song, hitting his knee in time to the beat. “Oh, to you. You. I'd leave it all,” he sang along.

Levi was impressed that he could stay on pitch—though a higher one than the song; his voice was a scratchy harmony with singer. Perhaps, that feeling only came from the fact that he couldn't carry a tune to save his life. He smiled and shook his head.

“I think this is a good road song,” Eren said, cutting himself off.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm. It fits the landscape don't you think?” He gestured out to the flat miles of sagebrush desert and tall grass that surrounded them. “Just the softness. Fits the heat. Fuck, does that even make sense?”

“Yeah, kid, it does.”

“You aren't that much older than me, you know.”

“Still fits.” Levi smirked. “So what's in Shiganshina?” he asked, passing a slow, beat up Honda and whizzing past.

“Home.”

“Don't kids your age usually want to leave home?” He looked over at Eren.

He slipped off his shoes and propped his feet up on the dash. He ignored the look Levi shot him and crossed his arms over his stomach. “I'm going back. And I'm not a kid. I'm twenty-two.”

“Couldn't tough it in the real world?” he teased.

His brows lowered, tossing his eyes into shadow. “Because I want to see my mom before she's in a casket!” he snapped.

Levi jumped at the force and content of his words. He blinked and stared at him.

Eren messed up his hair so that it fell across his face, hiding him from Levi's view. He moved the position of his right leg so that his foot was planted on the airbag and his knee was resting against his chest. His breaths came out in short bursts.

When he glanced back at the road, he was drifting over the yellow dotted line. He cursed and pulled to the side of the road. He shifted to park.

“Look, I didn't mean anything by that,” he said. _Shit. Fucking wonderful. This is where you don't act like a little shit_. “I didn't know.”

“I know,” Eren croaked. He still refused to look at him.

“If you don't mind me asking, what's wrong?”

He looked up to the ceiling and grounded the palm of his hands against his eyes before turning to look out the passenger side window. But, he wasn't fast enough for Levi to miss the blotchy and puffy cheeks or the reddened and glistening whites of his eyes. “She's got stage four lung cancer. Inoperable and all that shit. She was doing radiotherapy to help with the pain, but insurance is being a bitch and not paying or helping with anything. So, she's just sitting around home and waiting to go.”

“What about your sister?”

“Mikasa? What about her?” His chest started to rise and fall at a steadier pace.

His head tilted slightly towards Levi, but he still couldn't see his face. “Is she there, too? Is it going to be like a mini-reunion or is this a surprise on your part?”

“Surprise. Mom still thinks I'm finishing my degree. 'Sides, Mikasa never left town.”

The tension had started to ebb away in the car, and he wasn't worried about Eren anymore seeing his breathing return to a normal pace, so he shifted gears and got back onto the road. “Where do you go to school?”

“I don't. I dropped out freshman year.”

“And you didn't think to tell your mom?”

“I didn't want her to worry. I saw the loan she was taking out for me. So, I dropped out. I told her I got a scholarship. Then, I got a job and started paying her back. She didn't want it, but I felt guilty. I crashed with some guys I'd met at college; they've slowly left though.”

“Where do you work?”

He scratched the back of his neck. He was starting to slowly face forward again. “I was working as a bartender—I got some nice tips to send home there.” He smirked. “What can I say? People pay to see this.” He gestured to himself, running his hand up and down his body. “But, I started with just two part-time jobs at this local pizza joint and McDonald's.”

“'Was'?”

“Yeah. They wouldn't let me take a week off, so I quit.”

Levi shook his head. “You've got great intentions, but I feel like you aren't the greatest when it comes to thinking through your decisions.”

Hanji flashed through his mind saying, “Pot, meet kettle.”, but he swatted it away. He'd thought this through, _painfully_ through.

“So, I make some rash decisions! It isn't the end of the world. Okay, now c'mon. I gave you a decent bit of back story here. I feel like I should get some in return. Let's keep this car ride entertaining.”

“Did you really just tell me all that so I would tell you about me?”

He grinned. The expression looked better on him than the tears that still stained the edges of his face. “It may have crossed my mind.”

“You're a little shit, you know that, right?”

Eren shrugged. “So?”

“I got into the only college I applied to after slaving away on the application with Erwin's help after he got me to take my GED,” he started. It almost surprised him how effortlessly his name fell from his lips. “He also helped me get the fuck ton of scholarships I needed to even afford it. I worked my ass off to graduate. Meanwhile, I worked at a kid's gym.”

“With that potty mouth of yours?” He grinned

“Yes, you little shit. I can _not_ curse. It's not hard. I just enjoy it.”

Eren snickered.

Levi had to fight back against his own growing smile.

“Hold on. Was it like gym-gym or gymnastics gym?”

“Gymnastics gym.” He relished the look of shock on Eren's face.

“Wait. Really? I never would've pegged you for that. So can you...?”

“Yes. I got one of my scholarships for that. I primarily do rings, but I enjoy the parallel bars as well. I don't to much any more. I primarily coach now.”

“So what else do you do?”

“I teach.”

“What?”

“I teach ninth grade World History.”

“Bet that makes you want to curse,” Eren teased.

“It makes them want to as well, and I won't be beat out by a bunch of snotty nosed brats.”

“That's rude.”

He laughed. “They urge the nickname. I had a kid for years ago who was a complete shit, this big, egotistical asshole, right? He got all pissy over the fact that I flunked him—quite fairly. He deserved less than the 14% I gave him. He started complaining during class and that's what I said. I told him that I wasn't there to coddle a snotty nosed brat who didn't want to learn and insisted on ruining the opportunities of other students. Chances are rare to come by, and I don't want anyone fucking up somebody else's.” His voice was hard. He cleared his throat and took on a lighter tone.

“The other kids liked it. For some reason they started calling themselves Ackerman's Snotty Nosed Brats. They even abbreviated it—SNB's. Like, shit. They latched onto it and made it theirs. I haven't decided if it was to get back at me or the kid. But, it's a thing. It cropped up the following year, and it keeps coming.”

Eren was howling with laughter; he clutched his sides. “Oh my God! I feel like that would have been me. I would've started making posters and shitty white t-shirts with SNB written in marker. I would've been the shit who kept it going.”

Levi smiled at his laughing and kept driving.

Gurgles of mirth kept rolling from his lips, though in a steadily slowing frequency. As the laughter died, neither of them felt compelled to refill the emptiness it left. They let the radio do that work, until it started crackling.

Eren started to fiddle with it, but the stations kept giving him angry static.

Levi shifted into cruise control and stretched his legs out. He arched his lower back and then sucked his stomach in until he felt his spine pop.

“I music's officially gone. We should pick up stations again once we're nearer Shiganshina,” Eren announced.

“I'm about to go out, too,” Levi grumbled as he pulled to the side of the road. He shut the truck off and hopped out.

“What are you doing?”

“Stretching,” he announced. He shut the door and began walking up the shoulder of the road. His legs felt like jello, and his knees kept locking. His back felt like a crushed accordion.

Levi reached upwards and then dropped at the waist, folding himself in half. He stood back up and twisted at the waist.

Eren was walking up to him. He had his arm arched to form a triangle; he held his elbow and pushed it behind his, letting his hand brush against his shoulder blades.

“Why don't I drive for a change?”

“Over my dead body.”

“It was just an offer.”

“And it was just a denial of request.”

Eren's mouth formed a small 'o'; his eyebrows shot into his hair. Then, his face crumpled in laughter. He switched arms and turned to face the open field besides them. At some point during their drive, the desert had faded away into grassy plains.

Levi breathed in deeply. The hot air burned his throat; it was dry and dusty.

After their muscles had loosened and feeling had returned to their lower extremities, they climbed back into the truck with sun warmed skin and kept going in silence until Eren decided he couldn't stand the quiet and shuffled the music on his phone. Levi recognized maybe one song, but even then he wasn't sure.

By the time the sun was low on the horizon and they'd long since finished what was in the ice chest, the first sign with their destination distance appeared and Levi had to fight back a groan. He was looking at another full day of driving. At this rate, he was going to have to immediately turn back after dropping Eren off. He didn't budget this much for gas. For the first time, he was starting to rethink his decision to drive Eren all the way to Shiganshina.

A large dark blur obscured a large portion of the sky to their left. The mass bloomed darkness against the pale sky. They weren't clouds—though those were abundant as well, piling on the edge of the land.

Levi pointed at it.

“What's that?”

Eren jumped and looked up from Levi's book he had decided to steal and read. His face brightened. “Oh! It's a national forest. I can't remember the name. But, it translates into 'Trees of the Giants'.”

“You can remember that but not the actual name?”

“Hey, we came camping here when I was six! I couldn't pronounce it then, and I doubt I could pronounce it now. Hey!” He swung his hand out.

Levi flinched when it hit his chest and upper shoulder.

“Sorry, but I just had an idea. It's getting late. Why don't we just camp there for the night? They've got a pretty decent campsite. There's even a shower house, so you can clean up. What d'ya say?” He looked like a child. His eyes wide with hope and excitement.

“You want me to camp?” he asked slowly.

“It's cheaper! I'll sleep in the flat bed. You can sleep in here. No biggie. It's another three hours until a decent hotel anyways.”

“Three hours without any towns?”

“No. There's towns. Just no places to stay or nothing that would suit your standards. Besides, there's a nice diner by the site.”

Levi tsked.

“C'mon. At least here, you can know where you're sleeping!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He _was_ tired of driving, and the promise of hot food was a sweet, persuasive one. “Fine.”

Eren whooped and punched the air. “Dinner's on me.”

“You sure you have the money for that?”

He stilled. His arm drooped down to his side. “Oh.”

He shook his head. “It's on me then.”

His smile was more of a guilty wince. “I _will_ pay you back.”

“I hope you've got a couple hundred in cash tips stuck in your pants, otherwise I don't know how you will.”

Eren blushed at that.

“I also hope you haven't read ahead of me in my own damn book.”

“I'm ten pages away from your bookmark,” he grumbled, burying his pink face in the pages.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in this chapter:
> 
> ["Budapest"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHrLPs3_1Fs) by George Ezra


	5. Impromptu Camping Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it has been so long since I last updated. I've been writing a few hundred words for this here and there. School hasn't really lended itself to personal writing time lately, and when it does, I haven't had much motivation to work on this story. I apologize if this chapter feels disconnected at all because of that; it shouldn't, but it may. Here's hoping I can get the next chapter up in less than two months.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Okay.

He'd give this one to Eren. He had no idea how the hell anyone was supposed to actually pronounce the name of the park. English did not provide those sounds. It was perfectly logical for a kid to only remember 'Trees of the Giants'. Hell. That was all he was going to be able to remember.

Thankfully, he managed to snag the last campsite; grateful that he had twelve dollars tucked inside his wallet. Apparently, the forest with an unpronounceable name was a popular destination for families.

He pulled into the parking spot for the campsite and filled out the paperwork the squat lady gave him. She reminded him of a toad: waxy skin, bulging eyes, thick neck, and a flat face.

She grunted when he handed everything back with his signature and drove off in her golf cart.

“Damn,” he muttered under his breath, turning around to stare back inside the cabin of the truck.

“She was a ray of sunshine,” Eren said.

“No shit. I didn't expect it to be so goddamn packed.”

Eren shrugged and swung his door open. He pulled himself up and stood on the edge of the car floor. Resting his elbows on the roof, his eyes darted around the campsite taking in everything it had to offer.

“Excited?” Levi asked, pocketing the keys and shutting his door.

“Yes.”

“You look like you're about to shit yourself.”

Eren opened his mouth to reply but shut it with a audible clack. His lips pursed in a smirk. He slapped the roof. “Let's go. I'm hungry.”

Levi sighed and rolled his eyes. “I guess I do need to feed you. It's liked I picked up a stray.”

Eren let out a strangled whine.

“You really aren't helping your case here. Better watch it, Farlan doesn't allow animals in the cabin. I may have to stick you in the pickup bed.”

He shook his head. “Who's Farlan?”

“A friend, owner of the truck. The diner was this way,” he said, point to the right as he started walking.

“It's right across from the entrance which is the other way,” Eren said even as he jogged up next to him.

“We looped around. This is the shortest way.”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You sure?” He hunched down a bit with the question, and Levi found himself pulling his shoulders back to stand taller as he nodded.

The smirk and twinkle of amusement let him know that Eren was fully aware of what he did. He even scrunched lower, bending at the knees and ducking his head, so that he was an inch shorter than Levi which took a fair bit of contortion on his part.

Levi reached out and ruffled his hair. “Good dog.”

“Hey!” He stumbled to the side and straightened his hair back. “No touching the hair. That's a reserved right.” Spinning around he fell back in step with Levi, but this time he remained out of arm's reach.

He huffed out a laugh and kept walking to the main road. The neon red from the diner was glowing beacon through the trees up ahead. He walked past the entrance, stepped up to the road, and glanced both ways

“Can you take my picture?”

“What?” He looked over his shoulder and away from the empty road.

Eren had stopped several feet back and was loitering around the campground sign. “Can you take my picture?”

“Can't you do one of those selfies?”

He pouted. “But I want the whole sign.”

Levi groaned and stepped forward, jutting out his hand.

He smiled widely and stuffed his phone into Levi's hand. “It's almost dead, so we gotta do this quick.” He squatted down in front of the sign and held two thumbs up. His mouth hung open in smile; his eyebrows disappeared underneath his shaggy hair.

Taking a few pictures to be on the safe side, he said, “Okay.”

“Wait! One more!” He hopped on top the corner of the sign. “My dad put me up here for a picture,” he explained briefly before his wide-eyed grin was back.

Levi obliged with a few more pictures before the phone vibrated and went black.

Eren flopped down on his belly across the sign. “Last one!”

He held up the phone. “It's dead.”

“Oh.” He went beyond a pout this time as all his muscles fell.

The expression didn't suit him. It really didn't, and Levi couldn't be content with it on his face. He clenched his jaw for a moment before pulling out his own phone. “I'll take one on mine and send it to you,” he said.

Eren brightened up, and the world was right again.

Levi's fingers shook as he pulled up his camera. Since when did Eren's smiling mean so much? He'd barely known him for two days.

After a few more pictures and a warning of low battery level, the two headed across the street into the diner.

A bell jangled when they walked in, but it could hardly be heard over the music pouring from the surprisingly loud radio on the front counter. The tiles were an off-white. The brown leather of the booths and chairs was torn and crinkled. Nauseating yellow and blue lighting filled the restaurant. The whole building was accented with a dull silver paint.

Levi was seriously worrying about the state of the kitchen.

“Are you sure this is good?”

Eren winced. “It was nicer when I was younger. Rose-tinted glasses and all that. But, I'm sure it's fine.” He shrugged. “It's all we got.”

“How reassuring.”

“Give it a shot, old man.” Eren threw him a smirk before he smiled at the approaching hostess. A few batted eyelashes later, he gotten them a seat and charmed his way into a phone number as well.

“Too bad you can't use it,” Levi remarked as he pulled out a bunch of napkins from the dispenser on the table and wiped off the area in front of him.

“I can!” he defended. “Just not now.” He frowned at the dead screen of his phone and stuffed it into his pocket along with the phone number containing napkin.

Their waitress chose that time to walk up, and Eren flirted shamelessly with the older woman as well. When she left with the promise of bringing their drinks back, there was a bounce in her step that hadn't been there a moment ago.

Levi raised an eyebrow and shook his head. He really shouldn't be surprised given the manner in which he met him.

“What?” he demanded. “It's habit!”

“Habit?”

“It's called getting tips. And being nice.”

“Yes, raising a woman's hopes when you have no interest is the epitome of niceness.”

“Who said I had no interest? That hostess was hot.”

Levi grunted and looked at his menu.

“What, jealous?”

He looked up and arched his eyebrow.

Eren's eyes widened slightly before he ducked down. His hair hid his face. His fingers picked at the edge of the table. “Not like that, pervert,” he muttered under his breath.

Levi leaned back in the booth and swung his right leg over his left knee. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You doing all right, kid? If you've got a problem, you need to say something.”

He slumped back in his seat; his body was lax as he pounded the palms of his hands against the table. “I don't think communication is either of our strong suits. You wouldn't even have run away if it was.”

Levi's heart stuttered. His face fell flat.“The fuck?”

Eren's eyes snapped up to his, and he had the decency to look apologetic. “Sorry. I didn't mean—I was just,” he stumbled over his words.

He held his hand up, halting the apology. “Look, kid, you've got no right to lecture me on things you don't know about me. I don't have the right to do the same for you.”

Eren's jaw tightened. “Could've fooled me.”

“I'm not lecturing you on your life. I'm trying to make the last leg of this trip—which I have been generous enough to go along with—as pain free as possible.”

“If it was going to cause you so much trouble, why the fuck did you pick me up in the first place? You should've just left me.”

“Believe me, I'm debating the merits of that,” he snapped.

Eren stood abruptly.

The table rattled. Silverware clinked against each other. The salt shaker tipped over.

“I'll just get out of your way then.”

 _Shit_. He really wasn't good at this sort of thing.

Levi grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away. “Sit. People are starting to stare.” His eyes darted around the families whose attentions were turning to their small spat.

“Like hell I'm going to be stuck with you. The ride's not worth it. I'll find someone else.”

“Eren,” he growled. He took a deep breath and pinched his eyes shut for a moment. “I _am_ going to drive you home. I told you I would. Whether or not I've debated my initial decision, I don't regret it and I'm not going back on it. Now. Sit. Down.”

His eyes narrowed for a moment before he sat back down with a huff.

The waitress selected that moment to return. She set their drinks down and took their orders, scurrying away from the dark waves of aggravation and tension between them this time.

They ate their meal in silence. Levi scowled at the way Eren ate his burger, ketchup and BBQ sauce dripping down his fingers and wrists. He returned the look with a grimace and forcefully wiped his fingers on a thin napkin, tearing it in the process.

After paying, they walked back to the campsite in silence. Levi's fingers twitched restlessly against his thigh and snuck to his empty back pocket. Now was a moment when he wished he hadn't quit smoking.

Eren's hands were shoved deep in his pockets. His feet shuffled against the ground; his eyes trained downwards.

Levi turned his eyes up to the sky. The clouds that had been stacked against the horizon had unfurled across the sky, tucking the earth in under a dark blanket. The threat of storm was a heavy pressure.

When they reach the campsite, he headed for the truck and Eren to the picnic table. Levi pulled out his now dead phone and tossed it onto the dash. He pulled out his bag and rooted through the front pocket in search of his charger and car adapter. He found one, but not the other.

“Shit.”

“What?” Eren called from his roost on top of the picnic table. He pushed himself onto his elbows and kicked his feet back and forth over the edge absentmindedly.

“I forgot my car charger. Damn it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

“Well, if I had one I'd let you borrow it, but that probably isn't very helpful.”

“No, it isn't.”

“Well, you can charge it at the house before you head back.” The offer appeared sincere, but there was a hesitant tinge to it.

Levi grunted and pulled out a change of clothes and his tooth brush. He took Eren's words for what they were: an offer to smooth the ground back into civility for the rest of the trip. “Do you remember where the shower house is?”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “It should be towards the front of the site.” He eyed Levi's hands for a moment. “What, no shower?”

“In the morning,” he responded as he turned on his heel and left.

It took a few moments, but he finally managed to find the small shower house. His nose crinkled at the smell, and he choked back a sneer. It was perhaps a step above the motel, though. He guessed they must car more for their customer reviews. That still didn't stop him from scrubbing the counters and toilet with paper towels and soap first before use.

After he finished, the air outside had taken a prickly cold turn. Wind played with his hair and pulled at the hem of his shirt. The air had a metallic tang to it, and the all too familiar smell of rain.

Levi huffed under his breath and picked up his pace.

Rain drops were beating softly against him when he finally got back to the campsite

Eren hadn't changed his clothes. He was laying back on the picnic table, staring at the tree canopy and gray sky. He blinked away the rain drops, undeterred by their presence. His damp hair stuck to his forehead and cheeks.

He sat up when Levi opened the truck door and stuffed his things back into his bag. He dashed over to his side and grabbed his duffel. He tossed into the pickup bed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi asked.

He blinked at him and point at the pickup bed. “Making my bed.”

Levi tsked and climbed into the truck, slamming the door behind him. “It's raining. I don't want to drive someone with the flu. You can stay in here. Just stick to your side.”

Eren's mouth slackened for a moment before it turned into a hesitant smile. A splotch of blue toothpaste was crusted at the corner of his mouth. He tugged out his blanket and tossed his duffel back behind the seats. He climbed in and shut the door, shaking his hair out like a wet dog.

Levi's fingers idled rubbed his goosebump ladened skin. Large splatters of water were smashing against the car and the ground now.

A fluffy, warm weight landed on his lap.

He blinked down at the blanket and glanced at Eren who was curling himself up into a ball on his seat under the other half his blanket.

“If you can let me in from the rain, I can give you some of my blanket. Sleep tight, Levi. Hope that no bed bugs hitched a ride from the motel.” He smirked.

“You little shit,” he mumbled, but he tucked his arms under the blanket and tugged it up to his chin nevertheless.

 


	6. Close Space, Closer People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a month. I'm back with a quick chapter for the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving to those who are celebrating! If not, have a good Thursday; the week is almost over! You can do it!
> 
> Looking ahead, this fanfic will be around 15-ish chapters. So, we're just under halfway there! Thank you for the support I've had so far.
> 
> I apologies for any errors. I hope you enjoy!

His face was cold. His neck was stiff, and something was digging into his lower back. He was also really hot.

Levi forced his eyes open. He took a deep breath; the inside of his nose felt dry and crusty. He scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and blinked away the bleariness.

That was when he registered the heavy weight draped across his body.

Eren's chin dug deeply into his sternum. His mouth was wide open, and Levi couldn't compel himself to feel disgusted at the drool that dribbled from his lips and dampened Levi's shirt.

Sunlight peeking through the trees steamed the dampness from the night before. The cabin's air was heavy and stuffy.

His legs may have been initially tossed over Eren's lap, but now they were entwined in a knotted mess. Eren's blanket only added to the tangles. The gear shift was shoved into his lower back. His face was pressed against the window, and his back was bent awkwardly around the door.

Levi groaned and rolled his neck, wincing at the sharp sting that shot through his shoulders. He pulled his hand from where it rested on Eren's back and tried to push himself up to readjust his position on the gear shift.

The thrust of his hips gave him less than desired results.

Eren gave a slight moan and clung tighter to him.

He let his head fall back against the window and took a deep breath. With Eren's track record, he had a feeling this was going to be a rough morning. He almost hated to ruin it, but then he felt a hard push against the inner-side of his thigh near his knee. With a jerk, he realized what it was. Swallowing back his embarrassment, he shook Eren.

He grumbled and swatted at his hand. He tried to roll over, and elbowed Levi in the ribs during the process.

“Ow, fuck it, brat.” He pinched Eren's arm. “Knock-knock. Wake up.”

“What?” he yelped and jumped up. He tried to sit up but hit his head on the car roof and got stuck in the bundle of legs and blanket. He fell back against Levi's chest with a grunt.

Levi hissed in pain.

“I'm sorry!” His face was bright red. “Shit. I—I didn't mean...”

Levi waved him off and started to sit up. “It's fine. Go on and take a piss. You need it.”

Eren blinked and tore his blanket from his legs. He stumbled out of the truck, nearly falling on his face, and ran towards the bathroom down the path.

“Tch.” Levi hissed as he rolled his shoulders and pulled himself up to sit upright. He opened the door and stepped out. His knees buckled, and his muscles pinched. He linked his fingers together and stretched them above his head. Twisting at the waist, his eyes roamed over the other campsites and the trees.

Small kids sat folded up in their camp chairs, bouncing and staring wide-eyed at the pots over the fire. Their parents were slumped in their chairs, sleep still pulling at their eyes.

Steam curled over the ground, snaking between the trees. These were much shorter than those that dominated the land off into the horizon. Yellow sunlight blessed the earth with a soft halo.

Levi ran his tongue over his teeth and grimaced at the rough layer of plaque that had built up over the night.

His eyes darted down to the damp spot from Eren's drool on his shirt. His chest tightened.

“Tch,” he let out in a harsh breath.

He ripped his shirt off and stuffed it into the trash bag filled with his dirty clothes and rustled around for another shirt to slip on. He finally found one and pulled it over his head. Pushing his fingers through his hair and trying to settle it in some order, he turned around and caught sight of Eren standing at the rear of the truck out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” he asked.

Eren flinched and stopped staring. He ducked his head, brunet hair falling to cover his eyes. “Nothing,” he mumbled. “You can go clean up. I'll watch the truck.”

Levi grunted and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste. He shuffled down the road to the shower house to use the actual sinks available and not settle for the water spigot.

After scrapping the plaque off his teeth and the back of his tongue, he scrubbed his face with hot water until blood tinged his skin a bright red from aggravation. A quick inspection of the shower had shown that it was not up to standards. He dried himself off with a rough, brown paper towel and used it to open the bathroom door.

Eren was sitting in the passenger set. His shoulders were stiff against the back of the seat; his feet planted firmly on the floor. He had his eyes closed.

Levi opened the door and stuffed his things back into his suitcase. “Are we heading out?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why wouldn't we?” He kept his eyes shut.

“Reliving childhood memories and shit, I don't know,” he grumbled as he pulled himself into the truck. He shuffled around in the cup holder to find the key. He stuck it in the ignition and turned the engine on.

“I just want to get home.” His voice was quiet.

“Yeah, okay, kid. We should get there by tonight,” Levi said. He flipped on the radio and settled for a quiet, humming song and pulled out of the campsite. “But, let's get some food first.”

They were on the road in no time after stopping by the dinner for a quick breakfast and two more meals stored in to-go boxes.

Levi drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and scrubbed at his eyes.

“Tired?”

“Of driving.”

“I could—”

“No.”

A chuckle punched past Eren's lips in a single breath. “Thought so. Doesn't hurt to ask.”

Levi allowed himself a small twitch of the lips. “Only hurts if you expect a different answer.”

“Never.”

They fell into silence until Eren's rumbling stomach overpowered the radio. Levi pulled over, and they sat on the tail gate to eat, enjoying the sun and the room to stretch.

Tossing his used napkin into the box, he leaned back into the bed of the truck and tucked his arms under his head. He propped on foot up to ease the pressure on his lower bag; he kicked the other one back and forth over the edge.

Eren cleared his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just proved you have the capability to do so.”

“If I ask you a question, will you answer it?”

“Depends.” He turned his gaze to Eren and studied the hard outlines of his jaw and shoulders. “Most likely.”

“How does someone who's asexual be in a relationship?” he asked in a rush.

“What?” He sat up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Eren flinched away. “Sorry. That was...that was a stupid question. Pretty shitty. Just forget it.”

“No. No. Uh, it's just. That's one hell of a complex question. I thought colleges were bigger on this sort of education now. More liberal and shit now,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Dropped out freshman year, remember?.”

“Right.”

“And high school wasn't much help in the area.”

“What area?”

Eren ducked his head. “The whole sexuality shit thing.”

“Well, let's see, quick crash course in sexualities.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“You don't have to. It's not that big a deal.”

“No, it's fine. It's just a lot...so, you have five types of attraction.”

“Hetero, homo, bi,” Eren started to list.

“Yes, but no. Okay. You have sexual attraction; the big one everyone focuses on. But, you also have sensual, romantic, platonic, and aesthetic. Sexual—I want to have sex with this person. Sensual—I want to touch and hold and kiss this person. Romantic—I want to date this person. Platonic—I want to be friends with this person. Aesthetic—I want to stare at this person because they are so pretty. With me so far?”

“Yes,” Eren said slowly.

“Okay. Then, you have hetero—different sex attraction, homo—same sex attraction, bi—same and other attraction, pan—all genders attraction, and a, or ace—attraction to none of the genders. Then, within the ace spectrum, you have gray and demi. Gray is for the most part, no attraction, but occasionally it may pop up. Demi is where the attraction only occurs after a strong emotional connection. Hypothetically, the prefixes can be put with all the attractions, but usually only sexual and romantic.”

Eren was quiet for a moment. He picked at his jeans. “So, are you just asexual?”

Levi arched an eyebrow in confusion. “I don't—”

“All the other attractions.”

“Ah. Homo-romantic. If I'm in a relationship, there might be a touch of sensual attraction. And, people are people. They're all the same, at first,” he amended. “But, when you get closer to someone, you find them beautiful in the little things. Like the mole above their lip or the crinkles around their eyes and the way they squint when they smile. Just the way they say a certain word or the passion in their voice.”

“So, you're in a relationship because your homo-romantic?” Eren asked finally looking up and meeting his eyes.

“Well, it prompts me to pursue one, but not everyone relies on that. You don't have to be attracted to a person to be in a relationship with them. You just have to care for them. People have all sorts of relationships with their own personal boundaries and dynamics. No two relationships are the same, as it should be. And, I'm not currently in a relationship. Kind of the whole point of ru—” He cut himself off from saying _running away_.

 _Dammit_ . That was _not_ what was going on.

“Point of this trip,” he finished with. “Well, that and getting you back home. What prompted this?”

“Uh. Nothing.” Eren ran his fingers through his hair.

Levi studied the wary body language and let out a heavy breath. “C'mon.” He hopped off the tail gate and brushed his jeans off. “Enough of the heart-to-heart. Let's get you home.”

The cabin of the truck was silent. The heavy afternoon sun pressed down on them and stuffed the cramped space. Levi rolled down the windows and blasted the AC. He glanced over at Eren.

His chin dipped towards his chest. His eyes blinked slowly, opening less and less each time.

“Oi, kid, you're nodding off. Just go to sleep. I can drive without you being awake.”

“You don't know the way,” Eren said around a large yawn. The muscles in his jaw and neck stretched taut.

“Just tell me. I'll wake you when we hit Shiganshina.”

He let out a small mewl and curled up on himself, pressing his back against the door and facing Levi. “You just stay on I-34. Brings you right there.”

Levi nodded. “I can do that. Now sleep.”

Quiet, steady breathing greeted his ears. He looked over at Eren's gentle face and smiled. He turned his eyes back to the road and kept driving.

 


	7. Wrong Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Only took me two months to update. You can thank storiesscienceandsnark who kept telling me I needed to update this. Finally did it. Happy now?
> 
> I've also started to work on the next chapter, so maybe there will be another one fairly soon. We're around/just past the halfway point now.
> 
> And holy shit, this finally broke a thousand hits. Nice. Thanks everyone!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

The sky was dark. There was only a smear of navy blue and orange in the distance. Bright pinpricks of white light dotted the large expanse. Black clouds stretched across the sky. The radio had crackled back to life. Levi had turned it down to keep from waking Eren, but he appreciated the whispered hum of Ed Sheeran keeping him company.

They had to be close to Shigashina by now. The radio meant civilization which meant city which meant he could finally drop Eren off.

He couldn't find it in himself to work up much happiness or relief at that realization. He'd grown accustomed to the wide-mouth brunet. He'd made the trip entertaining to say the least.

Levi didn't actually start worrying about reaching town until a mile marker sign came up and Shigashina wasn't listed. When thirty miles still didn't bring the town's name, he decided it was best to wake Eren.

He reached over and grasped his shoulder, shaking gently. “Eren,” he said softly. He gave a hard push. “Eren.”

Nothing, but mumbled muttering and moaning.

Frowning, he flicked the side of Eren's head. “Oi, brat wake up! I don't know where we are.”

Green eyes blinked blearily. “Wha...,” he muttered, scrubbing his face with his hands.

“Does something look familiar?”

He yawned. “Wow. It got dark quick.”

“Mm. Yeah. You slept through most of the afternoon. Now, how much longer?”

Eren leaned forward on his elbows and stared out the window. His eyes pinched together; his brows lowered. “This isn't...” he trailed off before shouting, “This is Highway 68!”

“What?”

“You went the wrong way!”

“You said to stay on I-34, so I stayed on the road.” Levi felt his voice rising to match Eren's volume.

“No! I-34 splits off and continues south while Highway 68 keeps going straight and curves north,” he explained, miming the road directions with his arms.

“That makes no sense.”

“Just turn around in the next town,” he grumbled and looked back out the window. He studied that fast approaching exit sign. “Fuck. It's Trost.” He dragged a hand over his face before glaring at Levi. “How long was I asleep?”

“I don't know. Most of the afternoon. I wasn't paying attention to the time! You looked tired, so I let you sleep!” The hair on the back of his neck was standing on end. Heat flushed up his arms as he growled in self-defense.

Eren huffed and sunk down in his seat, crossing his arms over his abdomen. “We'll just stay the night in Trost. It'll be too late if you turn back now.”

“I don't have the money for that. I'm driving a lot more than I thought I would be. You're well rested. We can pick up some food and then _you_ can drive us to Shiganshina,” he said, signaling as he merged into the right lane and then took the exit.

“You sure you want me touching the truck. I was under the impression I'd be killed by your friend if I did,” he snapped back, a smug smirk curling his lips.

Levi frowned. If he wasn't driving and if he didn't want to avoid potential jail time, he would smack the grin off his face. “He'll understand. However, I'd be terrified of him if you were to fuck his baby up, so be careful.”

“Note taken.” He was silent for a moment. “Look, I'm just as upset as you. I want to be home, and you want to get rid of me. I understand, okay? Let's just try to get through this as quickly as possible.”

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don't want to get rid of you.”

Eren arched an eyebrow.

“I want to get out of the car and be in my bed, or a real bed for that matter. But this hasn't been as horrible as it could have been.”

“Glad to know I'm not the worst thing that's happened to your life.” The street lamps created a halo around his hair and highlighted the plains of his face. His eyes were cast in shadow, though they glistened brightly. Eren smiled slightly.

Levi bit back a smile of his own. “Do you want some sit-down restaurant or a fast food joint?”

Eren leaned back and stretched his arms up; his finger tips brushed the roof of the car. A guttural whine poured from his lips as he arched his back. “Fast-food's cheaper. We can sit down inside if you want to get out of the car for a bit. Then I can drive back. Let you get some sleep.”

He grunted and turned into the nearest McDonald's. He pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. “C'mon.”

Eren followed him out into McDonald's.

“Do you know what you want?” Levi asked.

“A Big Mac, duh.”

“What do you want to drink?”

“Coke's fine.”

“I'll order. You grab a seat.”

“Aye-aye, Capt'n,” Eren said with a smirk and salute.

Levi reached out to ruffle Eren's hair but remember what he'd said the other day last second and shoved his shoulder instead. “Cheeky brat. Go on.”

Turning, Levi headed to the counter.

“Hi,” cheered the petite girl behind the counter. “Welcome to McDonald's. Are you ready to order or do you need another minute or two?”

“A Big Mac meal with a Coke and....” he trailed off, his eyes dragging along the menu as he pulled out his wallet. “Grilled Chicken Sandwich with...a black coffee.”

“Will that be all?”

“Ye—”

“Hey, Levi!” Eren hollered.

“Keep your voice down,” he snapped, looking over his shoulder at Eren who was kneeling on the seat and leaning over the back.

He pouted for a moment. “You're yelling, too. You should get apple pie.”

Levi placed a hand on his hip and sighed. He turned back around to the cashier. “An apple pie, too.”

“Your boyfriend's lucky. We've got one left. You're total is $17.23.”

“He's not...never mind,” he grumbled, handing over his card.

“How long have you been together?” she asked, swiping it and finishing the transaction.

Levi paused for a moment, accepting his card. His eyes widened. “This is the third day.”

She blinked as she set the food down on a tray. “Really? It looks like you two have been together for years.”

“It feels like years,” he muttered honestly. _Has it really only been three days since I picked him up?_ Levi accepted the tray with a mumbled thanks and walked over to the booth Eren had laid claim to.

He was sprawled out against one side, leaning against the window. He smiled wide at the sight of food. He grabbed a handful of fries and stuffed them in his mouth, humming in pleasure.

“Careful, you'll choke,” Levi said, sitting down and popping off the top of his coffee. He ripped open two packets of sugar and dumped them in.

Eren's words were garbled before he began to hack violently, thumping his chest.

“Told you.”

“Dr....drink,” he rasped out, clutching his fingers in a “gimme” gesture.

“You can go fill up your Coke. This is your fault.”

He glared before widening his eyes in an attempt to give Levi puppy dog eyes as he coughed up a lung.

Levi took a sip of his coffee, staring over the rim before sighing. “Make sure you've swallowed everything. I don't want to deal with your fucking backwash.”

Eren nodded vigorously and gestured for the drink.

Levi grimaced as he handed it over.

Taking a small sip, Eren winced at the taste and handed it back. “Gah.” His tongue lolled out of his mouth. “That's disgusting. How can you stand that?”

“Not everyone can have a sweet tooth.”

He shook his head and popped another fry in his mouth, standing up and snatching his empty cup. “Don't touch my fries,” he said. He pointed at his eyes and then at Levi. “I'm watching you.”

Levi sighed and spun his cup so that the rim Eren had drunk from was away from him. It had been an intense and active three days, but he had to say that he had enjoyed it. Thinking about having to drive back without Eren caused his stomach to swoop, and he didn't like the feeling so he tried not to think about it too much. He had gotten used to the brunet sitting next to him. It had been nice—when it hadn't been exhausting.

Eren plopped back down in his seat, slurping his drink. His eyes flickered over Levi before his face contorted into a tight pinch.

“What's the matter? You look constipated.” Levi said.

“I should be asking you that,” he barked back. His cheeks were lightly dusted with pink, but Levi chalked up to the plenty of red décor in the building. “You looked upset.”

“Just tired,” he replied, unfolding the paper wrapper on his sandwich.

A finger flicked his forehead.

He swatted at it and glared at Eren.

His jaw was tight, and his brows were set in a firm line. His green eyes were hard and determined. “Then why are you drinking coffee?”

“Because I like it.”

Eren huffed and bit into his Big Mac. “You'll get to sleep while I drive. Now eat.” He swayed his head back and forth as he chewed. He swallowed and took a sip of his drink. “I'm sorry I'm being such a pain,” he said around the straw.

“You need to stop apologizing,” Levi said as he picked off the tomato.

“Sorry,” Eren whispered.

Levi growled and kicked him under the table. “I mean it.”

“Ow. Now you're just being mean.” Eren stuck out his tongue and tossed a fry at Levi's face which he caught in his mouth with ease. “Ah!” He looked torn between cheering in amazement and frowning at the loss of a fry.

“Finish eating,” Levi said, pointing at Eren's food. “The sooner you finish, the sooner you can see your mom.”

Eren nodded and continued eating.

Despite the caffeine, Levi was struggling to keep his eyes open when they got back into the car.

“ _Wow._ ” Eren breathed out as he readjusted the seat and spent a minute or two on the mirrors. “So cramped.”

“What?” He felt his speech slurring despite his struggling to remain coherent.

“You're really sh—Uh-uh.” He shook his head fiercely. “I'm not falling for that,” he said as he pulled out of the parking lot, inching the truck slowly and cautiously.

Levi had started dozing off to the steady hum of the tires against pavement when Eren cleared his throat, softly. “I really do want to apologize.”

Levi swung an arm out and shoved him halfheartedly. “And I really mean that you need to stop that.”

Eren let out a huff of air, disguising a laugh. “No. For the way I've treated you and how I acted when you first picked me up.”

Levi forced his eyes open. His head rolled to the side as he tried to study Eren's darkened profile through hazy vision.

“It's just—” he cleared his throat again.

It look like his fingers tightened around the wheel before he stretched them out, but Levi wasn't sure if he could trust his eyes.

“I don't even know. I got scared. I don't know why. I just. I got scared. Then I got angry. I said some stupid things. And I don't want you to think I'm not really grateful for this. And I don't want you to think that I don't really enjoy spending time with you even if I act like...like uh...”

“Fucking brat,” he mumbled into his shoulder, fighting off the pull of sleep. He wondered briefly if he looked like Eren had when he had been falling asleep. He wondered if Eren was thinking that he looked cute just as Levi had thought of him earlier.

He was too tired to think much of his thoughts.

“Yeah. If I seemed...to be...” Eren coughed and changed direction. “I just...I'm straight. I'm pretty sure I am. I love tits. But...I mean. There are guys I'd go gay for.”

“First, you don't 'go gay', kid. Second, who?”

Levi was having trouble focusing on words and meanings now, but he was very much sure Eren's list had exceeded ten friends and celebrities by the time he managed to get his tongue and vocal chords working together again. “Eren, I hate to break it to you, but I think you might want to take a look at bi.”

Eren bit his lip. “It's just...I'm scared,” he whispered.

He wanted to sit up, to have that heart-to-heart they started earlier, to get Eren to dump the shit that was weighing on his chest, but he was so damn tired. His last thought before he fell asleep: _What shitty timing._

 


	8. Late Night Chats in a Pickup Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is here! It's a heavier one: a bit of backstory into Eren's internalized homophobia (no slurs or violence).

It was still when Levi blinked back into consciousness. The tires were silent. No hum poured from the speakers.

Grunting, Levi rubbed the crusting gunk from the corner of his eyes as he sat up. The driver's seat was empty. “What?” he mumbled, his voice cracking.

The air inside the cab had a chilling bite to it.

Rubbing the back of his neck and rolling out the kinks, he looked around the dark surrounds of the truck in search of Eren. He spied a form sitting on the tailgate; head craned up to face the sky.

Levi shook his head and unbuckled before climbing out of the truck.

Eren flinched when he shut the door and glanced over his shoulder. “Hey. Sleep well?” His voice was hushed, not wanting to break the stillness of the cool night.

“Yeah,” Levi huffed out, carefully stepping along the grassy side of the road.

He nodded and turned back to the sky. “It was too bright in Karanese to see them. I was in the truck last night because it was raining. It's the first time I've gotten a good look at them since I moved.”

Levi pinched the fabric of Eren's t-shirt sleeve and shook it. “You'll freeze your ass off if you're out here much longer.”

“I've got a sweater in my duffel. If you're worried, grab it.” His lips curled, but his eyes remained focus on the stars. He shivered at a particular strong gust of wind.

“Tsk.” Levi spun around and opened the truck again. He tossed Eren's blanket over his shoulder and pulled the duffel towards him. Unzipping it, he began to shuffle through the contents in search of a sweater.

Finally finding it, he yanked it out and stared for a moment at the box underneath it. “You have an air mattress?” he asked, shutting the door and tossing the sweater at Eren's face.

He squawked in response before shoving it over his head. “I grabbed everything out of my apartment. I don't have much. I've been late with rent the last month or so. He was going to kick me out anyway. So, I grabbed everything.”

“Do you have inflator?” Levi asked.

“Yeah.”

Levi arched his eyebrow and stared at him.

Eren's eyes widened, his hands out to the side questioning Levi's reaction. “You never know when you'll need one. 'Sides I wasn't going to leave it. I spent good money on it. I slept on that since I moved.”

Nodding, he draped the blanket over Eren's legs and leaned against the tailgate next to Eren, propping his elbows up on the bed and tucking himself under the corner of the fabric.

“We can head out again. I just wanted to look at the stars for a bit.”

Levi shrugged. “I'm okay stargazing for a bit.” He hopped up onto the tailgate and held out his hand. “Keys.”

“You sure you awake?”

“Yeah.”

Eren hummed and dropped the keys in Levi's hand. He laid back and tucked his hands under his head, taking up most of the pickup bed. “You gonna lay down?”

“You okay with that?”

Eren was quiet for a moment before nodding. He didn't lower his eyes from the sky. “Yeah. Just get down here already.”

Levi pocketed the keys and leaned back. Eren's body was warm. Levi had to fight the urge to curl against him and bask in the sun-like warmth radiating from him. He clasped his hand on his abdomen and stared at the expanse of white pricks of light. Purple and cloudy white streaks swirled across the sky.

Eren cleared his throat. “I want to explain.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You don't have to.”

“Please, just let me.” His voice was weak and bordered on a whimper. “I didn't get to finish before you fell asleep. Please.”

“Okay.” Levi shifted.

“I just—”

Levi glanced over. Eren looked like he was going to be sick.

“Hey,” he prodded gently. His eyes flickered over to Eren's face with concern. “You don't have to tell me anything. Don't think you owe me an explanation for anything.”

He jolted and turned to face him, leaning up on his elbow. “But I _want_ to!” His face was set and determined but also pinched and red.

“Okay. Then start by taking a breath.”

Eren nodded slowly and laid back down. He took a deep breath through his nose and slowly let it go through his mouth.“I just. I'm scared.”

“We all are at some point.”

He was quiet. The silence expanded between them until he finally spoke. “Maybe I am bi. Maybe I'm gay. I don't know. I'm just scared to not be straight.”

“Preaching to the choir. Most people are.”

Eren took another shaky breath. “My hometown isn't the most accepting of places. It's pretty small. Very Christian and very conservative. My best friend—he's always been the best—Armin, we were in my room, curled up on my bed watching God knows what, but we were close. We've always been friends. Nothing more, certainly nothing more on his part. But, I mean...I guess, I was starting to want to kiss him. He's so cute. I just wanted to hold him and kiss him and be close to him. But, I was scared. How are you supposed to breach that topic with your friend?”

Eren's voice faltered.

A cold breeze crept between them and Levi shivered.

Eren removed his hand from under his head and wrapped his arm around Levi's shoulders. He pulled him to his chest and rubbed his other hand up and down Levi's goosebump covered arm. “You complain about me not being dressed warm and you're in a shitty shirt.”

His voice vibrated through his chest and into Levi's skull.

“I brought the blanket,” Levi defended, but he was beginning to feel like an idiot, and a touch hypocritical.

He reached down to the blanket twisted around his legs and tugged it over them. Tucking Levi's head under his chin and pulling him closer, Eren asked, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

Eren's chin sat heavily on the top of his head for a moment before shifting and resting against his temple as he continued to talk.

“A horror movie. Still can't remember the name. That's what he were watching—No! One of those ghost shows. Where they walk around with cameras and call out these dangerous ghosts? Anyways, we were together on my bed. Not quite like this but...” he said quietly before clearing his throat. “Dad came in and I could tell he was about to blow a gasket. I pulled away from Armin who seemed completely oblivious to everything. Dad left. Armin went home a little while later.

“The moment he was gone Dad pulled me aside. He asked me what was going on. I told him. I told him that we were friends, but that I was starting to like him. “Like how you like Mom,” I remember saying. “I want to do the stuff you do, kissing and holding hands and hugging.” He'd sighed and took off his glasses. He told me that I couldn't. That we couldn't be more than friends. He had said that he understood I was “earnest in my feelings”—I'm quoting him, I shit you not, he said that to eleven year old me—but that I couldn't...that I couldn't “see them through.”

“I was so pissed. I was yelling and kicking, and I locked myself in my room. Mom calmed me down eventually. She explained that Dad was fine with it, but he didn't want the town to lash out at me.” He let out a hard laugh. “I still don't know if I fully believe that. I've just stuck with tits ever since. It's easier. They're nice, too, so I've never been too heartbroken. But...I get scared. I've been so scared. Every time...” His arms tightened around Levi.

Levi pushed lightly against his chest. Eren's grip eased enough for him to sit up, and Eren followed suit, crossing his legs in front of him and curling in on himself. “It's shit. I know. It's shit to come to terms with the possibility that your parents weren't as great as you'd like them to be. It's shit to see that despite all the loving-you-no-matter-what spiel they still give you unwritten conditions.”

“But,” Eren whispered. “I love my Dad. And—and he loved me. I know. I know that. He was a good father. I loved spending time with him.”

Levi's head quirked at the past tense. “You've never really talked about your dad. It's always been about your mother.”

“He went missing ten years ago. Police never got any leads.”

“I'm sorry.”

Eren shrugged.

Levi sighed and ran his hand over his face. “People aren't all one or another. He may have loved you; he may have done the best he could, but that doesn't mean his best wasn't sufficient enough. He could have loved you and enjoyed being a part of your life, but he couldn't grasp that aspect of you for whatever reason. Maybe he _was_ worried about the town; he wanted to protect you, or himself, from them. I don't know. But, denying who you are isn't the way to protect you. I don't doubt that he did what he thought was best, whether or not it actually was the best for you.”

Feeling the end of his speech came out a bit lame, he reached out and squeezed Eren's shoulder, but he was sure that didn't make it any better until Eren bumped his head against his hand. Levi curled his fingers in Eren hair and ran them through the rough strands.

Eren's eyes shifted downward before he lurched forward and wrapped his arms around Levi's waist, burying his face in his chest. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Ah. Um. Yeah. No problem.” He took a deep breath and returned the gesture.

Eren's grip tightened, and Levi let out a huff of air.

“Too tight.”

“Sorry.”

“It's okay. Now, come on,” he said, quickly pressing a kiss to the top of his head without a second thought as he pulled himself from Eren's grip, “let's get going. It's fucking freezing.” He crawled out of the pickup bed and made it back into the drivers seat before his actions settled into his mind.

Levi froze and cleared his throat as he hastily started the engine, turning up the radio and the heat.

“Oh my God,” he muttered, pinching his nose.

The passenger door opened and Eren hopped in, rattling his lips. He flashed Levi a smile as he bundled up his blanket in his lap. “Good to know you aren't all asshole, old man. I think your heart grew three sizes today.”

Levi blinked at him and then scowled. “Fucking funny, you little shit,” he growled.

Eren laughed and his smile grew gentler as he curled back in his seat as Levi started driving.

 


	9. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's been a month. Things have been a bit hectic here, so writing hasn't been happening. But, I got this chapter finished the rest of the story outlined! Yay!
> 
> The Jaeger family now makes an appearance!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Apologies for any typos.

Orange streaked the sky as Eren finally gave Levi step-by-step directions through the narrow roads outside the downtown of Shiganshina to his house. The houses were stone and shadowed in deep green foliage of towering trees that had taken many years to age and flourish.

Levi pulled up to the curb and put the truck in park. “Well, it's been a ride, Eren.”

A breathy laugh escaped Eren's lips. The corner of the eyes crinkled as he smiled, his lips remaining clamped shut. His eyes were downcast and his shaggy hair covered his face as he turned to the door. His fingers lingered over the door handle before he turned suddenly to face Levi; his eyes wide open and unblinking. “Hey, why don't you swing in for a little bit?”

Levi pushed down the brief fluttering at the eager look on his face and shook his head. “I should start heading back. I've been gone longer than I expected, and it will take me a while to get back.”

His lip jutted out, and his eyes grew even wider. “C'mon. You can head out on the road later. You can't say no to free food!” He stretched out his hand to Levi. “You could even take a quick shower. A bathroom. C'mon.”

Narrowing his eyes, Levi clenched his jaw. “Fine.” He shut off the engine and opened his door.

“Great!” Eren shouted. He reached over his shoulder and grabbed his duffel, hauling it onto his lap with a huff. He opened the door and hopped out. He slung his backpack over one shoulder and held his duffel in one hand.

Levi wandered around the front of the truck and hovered on the sidewalk, waiting for Eren to lead the way.

“Let's go! You'll love my mom,” he said, heading up the driveway to a side door hidden from the quickly warming air under a cool carport. Eren dropped his duffel on the steps and pulled out a key ring from his pocket. He flipped through them, the keys clanking together.

“You've still got a key?”

“Of course.” He flinched, looking ashamed for a moment. “I was supposed to visit more than I have.”

“You mean not visiting at all?” Levi arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I didn't know how to handle it after I dropped out. Speaking of which,” Eren said as he paused, waiting to turn the key in the lock, “don't let that fact slip to either my mom or Mikasa, please.”

He nodded once.

Eren returned the gesture and opened the door into a mudroom. He toed his shoes off and tossed them against the wall. “No shoes. House rule.” He hung his backpack on the coat rack.

“Common sense,” Levi replied, bending over to untie his shoes and set them to the side. He stood up as Eren looked away.

Clearing his throat, Eren nodded and shuffled forward. “This way.”

They stepped into the kitchen. It was wide open and small; the white tile had grayed with years of use. The cabinets were scratched dark wood. Dim, yellow light shined from the chandelier above the round kitchen table. Pictures covered the white fridge, hung up by cute magnets. A young Eren beaming with eyes pinched shut in joy as he displayed a hermit crab was held in place by a small, smiling, cartoon jellyfish magnet. Peeling blue-flowered wallpaper covered the walls above the dark wood paneling around the bottom half. A coffee maker was percolating on the counter.

It would look rundown and sketchy if it wasn't for the tidy order and homely vibe that it gave off.

“Hello!” Eren called out, the 'o' trialing off.

There was a pause. A door opened.

“Eren?” asked a flat, female voice.

“In the kitchen!” Eren shouted as he dumped his duffel on top of table.

Levi winced and opened his mouth to tell him to take it off.

“Eren, take that damn bag off the table.”

Her arms were crossed over her chest. Her thin lips pursed and turned downward. Her almond-shaped eyes flashed steely-gray. Black hair brushed her chin in a jagged line. A few black strands dangled in her eyes.

The two of them did have a passing resemblance.

Eren smiled. “Mikasa!” He ran forward and hugged her.

She smiled; it was a small upturn of her lips. “It's good to see you, Eren. Now, before we catch up, please take that filthy duffel off the table.”

He groaned, but spun around to do as instructed.

Mikasa glanced up and stared at Levi. A small crease dented the skin between her eyebrows. She pointed at him. “Who's this?” she asked, her eyes never leaving his face.

“This is Levi. He gave me a ride,” Eren explained casually as he grabbed his bag and swung it around his body until it he held it to his side.

Her eyes flashed to her brother before glaring at Levi. “You hitchhiked?”

“Yes,” Eren retorted.

“I should tell Mom.”

“Mikasa, c'mon,” he whined, his shoulders dropping and his chin jutting forward in a pout. “It's not that bad. Levi might look like an old pervert, but he's fine.”

She 'hmphed' and crossed her arms. “Go dump your clothes in the wash and say hi to Mom.”

Eren opened his mouth to protest before huffing. “Fine. But you be nice to him,” he insisted before heading out the kitchen.

“I'll start on breakfast,” she said.

“Make some for Levi, too!” he called out down the hall.

Mikasa's lips pursed together as she considered Levi. She turned from him, her hair swishing around her head. Opening the refrigerator, she said, “Take a seat, if you trust that table now.”

Levi grimaced. “Do you have any disinfectant wipes?”

Shutting the door with her foot, she jutted her chin towards the mudroom. “In there.”

“Thanks,” he muttered. After finding the wipes, he pulled out a few and thoroughly wiped down the tabletop until his nose stung. Searching around, he spied the trashcan and tossed the used wipes away. He washed his hands.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched Eren's sister add a splash of milk to the bowl of eggs. “I probably should've asked if you can do dairy,” she remarked to the bowl as she began to whisk the eggs.

“I can.”

“Cheese okay?”

“Sure.”

The chair scraped against the tile when Levi pulled it out to sit down. He sat carefully on the edge before leaning back, crossing his legs and draping his right arm over the back.

Mikasa spoke up first. “I don't trust Eren's judgment.” She sprinkled a handful of cheese into the bowl and added several dashes of salt, pepper, and a few other seasonings.

“What?” Levi blinked.

“Any food allergies?”

“Uh...no.”

She nodded and moved over to the stove. Turning the flame on, she set a large skillet on top and melted a thick piece of butter in it. She continued to whisk as she poured the eggs into the skillet. They began to sizzle. She set the bowl and whisk in the sink, grabbed a spatula from the stand on the counter, and made her way back to the eggs. She fiddled with the flame for a moment as she pushed the cooked eggs to the center and tilted the pan to let the gooey, uncooked egg flow to the edges of the skillet.

Levi stood up and flipped on the sink, turning it as hot as possible. Grabbing the sponge that sat on the sink he drizzled a heaping dose of soap on it. He squeezed a bit more into the bowl and filled it up with water until it was a steamy, bubbling mess. He took a moment to rub the soap into the sponge until the suds showed.

“Careful with the hot water. It tends to swing either scalding or freezing when the shower or washer's going.”

“Thanks,” he said as he turned the water temperature down a bit and swung the faucet out of the way.

“Eren makes up his mind too quickly,” Mikasa said. “I don't trust his judgment. So, I don't trust you. You certainly look like an old pervert. How old are you anyway?”

“Thirty-two,” he responded, dumping out the yellow tinted sudsy water.

She tsked. “And what interest did you have in a twenty-two year old on the side of the highway?”

“None.”

“Really?” He heard her body shift.

He glanced over at her.

She faced him. The spatula held semi-threatening in the air between them. Okay, entirely threateningly. He was glad she didn't have a knife.

Levi turned back to the sink. “I assure you, I'm the probably the safest person that could have picked him up,” he said as he rinsed out the bowl before scrubbing it again with more soap.

“Just what a—” she growled.

“Mikasa! You don't sound like you're being nice. You've got the coffee brewed and you didn't offer any to our guest?”

Levi looked over his shoulder at Eren's approach.

“Your guest. And I am cooking,” Mikasa said, turning back to the eggs.

“Well, now you are. Coffee?”

“Sure,” he said as he shook off the excess water from the bowl and set it to the side of the sink. “Bl—”

“I know how you take it,” Eren said as he pulled two mugs out from the cupboard. “I would tell you you don't have to clean, but I'm just going to accept that it's normal default for you now.”

“He cleans?” Mikasa asked. “Well, at least he's a useful pervert.”

“I told you already that he's not!”

Mikasa only hummed.

Levi finished cleaning the whisk and set it inside the bowl. “Do you have a towel or a drying rack?”

“Typically use the dishwasher,” Mikasa inputted.

Eren frowned at her as he handed Levi a red mug with a white cat's face printed on it. “Here.”

“What about me?”

“You don't get any until you're nice to _our_ guest.,” Eren snapped as he opened a drawer and pulled out a dishtowel. He stuck out his tongue.

“The guest who you hitched a ride with,” Mikasa said as she turned the flame off. She grabbed four plates and set them on the counter. “Which was a horrible idea, Eren.” She scraped the scrambled eggs equally onto the plates and set two of them on the table.

“It—”

“I don't want to hear that it went well, Eren. Because it had a very good chance of not going well. You may not have ended up here. You got lucky. Not saying that I approve of him, but at least he made good and brought you here.”

“Mikasa, you're really—” he protested grabbing four forks and tossing three of them on the table.

“I'm not overreacting, Eren!”

“Can't you just be disappointed in a stupid decision and let it be like Mom?” Eren grumbled as he plopped down at the table and shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Mikasa huffed and looked away. She grabbed two forks and the remaining two plates. “I'm going to eat with Mom.” And with that, she left the kitchen.

Levi sat down and took a small bite of eggs. He hummed in satisfaction and ate a larger bite. He chewed slowly, swallowed, and said, “You know, it really was a stupid decision. Especially with your little show.”

Eren groaned and smacked his head on the table. “Don't remind me. Okay. That wasn't smart, but I was desperate.”

“Yes. 'Farmer turned stripper to save his farm' if I remember was my comment.”

He snorted. “I don't remember you complaining.”

“About what? The hitchhiking? I may have mentioned the illegality of it all. I may have threatened you several times with dumping you back on the side of the road.”

“No, uh,” Eren stumbled before licking his lips. “Never mind.” He gulped down his coffee.

Levi finished his eggs and leaned back, sipping his coffee. Eren really had made it perfectly.

“You wanna meet my mom?” Eren blurted out. “You know, before you go. She's the reason you went through all this trouble,” he rambled.

“Sure. But, I'm pretty sure you were the pain in the ass, not your mother.”

“Whatever, old man.” He smiled. “C'mon. She's in the living room.”

Large windows covered in sheer curtains filled the wall facing the street. The walls were painted a light tan. Welcoming, plush, green couches lined two walls of the room. The fourth wall held a small entertainment center fitted with an outdated TV. Pushed in the corner was a large radio that looked like it had transplanted to the present from the 1940s. A small bookcase had a selection of books, movies—both DVD and VHS tapes alike—and several picture frames of a happy family. A round coffee table decorated with white lace sat in the center.

Mikasa was curled up in the corner of a couch; an empty plate resting on her legs.

Eren's mom sat in a wheelchair pulled up in the corner between two of the couches. She wore a loose white blouse. A patchwork quilt was draped over her legs. She looked just like Eren. Her brunet hair hung over her shoulder in a loose ponytail. Her brown eyes were warm and jovial. She looked beautiful even with the oxygen tubes.

She clutched a stained handkerchief in her hand.

“I'll clean up,” Mikasa said, the faint smile that had been on her face dropping when she saw Levi. She stood up and grabbed her mother's empty plate before heading into the kitchen.

“You'll have to excuse, Mikasa. She's taking her frustration with Eren out on you.”

“It's understandable,” he replied.

Her head tilted and she smiled. “So, you're Levi. Carla Jaeger,” she said, holding her hand out. “Pleasure to meet you. Thank you so much for bringing my Eren back, even though he should be focused on his studies right now; I'm so happy to see him. He's grown so nicely.”

Levi stepped across the room an shook her hand. “Of course. It's a pleasure as well.”

She smirked. “I hope he wasn't too much trouble.”

“Apart from the lack of money for gas and food...” He rolled his eyes, smirking as well as he sat down on the spot Mikasa had vacated.

“Hey! I promised I'd pay you, and I will. I'll stop by the bank tomorrow and pay you.”

He paused and looked at Eren. “Tomorrow?”

“Heh.” Eren scratched the back of his neck. “I was talking with Mom and she offered for you to stay the night and get a good rest. We've got a guest room. Guaranteed clean sheets and no bedbugs. It's not the truck.”

“You've been sleeping in the truck?” His mom asked, her eyes snapping between both of them.

“Kinda. We stopped at the campsite that Dad took us to that one time, remember?” he said, dropping down next to Levi. Their elbows knocked together, and he muttered a quiet apology.

“Yes.”

“Yeah. We stopped there. That was it,” Eren assured her. “We would've been back yesterday but someone took a wrong turn and took us to Trost.” He glanced at Levi. “We switched off sleeping and driving to get here this morning.”

Carla look ready to complain, but Levi jumped in. “I really don't want to impose. I should be leaving.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to the street were the truck was parked.

Eren turned to him.“C'mon. You can't turn down an actual bed. It'll be a while until you're back home. You said so yourself earlier. It'll be a nice break from the road. And there's food and a shower. You can spend some time actually walking and using your legs.”

“It really is no trouble. Eren might need to air out the room, though. It's hardly used,” Carla assured him.

“You may as well,” Mikasa said from her spot against the doorjamb. “It'll be useless trying to convince them otherwise, even with combined efforts.”

“Mikasa,” her mother admonished. “It's the least we can do.”

Levi stood up and dusted off his jeans.

“Where are you going?” Eren asked. He looked like a child, afraid of being abandoned.

“To get my charger. If I'm staying here, I should charge my phone and let my friends know I haven't died unexpectedly,” he answered as he stepped over Eren's legs.

“I think it would be perfectly expected,” Mikasa jabbed.

“Probably,” he admitted. “They'd just be sad they didn't get to witness it.”

The edge of her lips curled up. “Some friends.”

He smiled. “I wouldn't trade them.”

“I'll go with you,” Eren said, jumping up behind him.

“I think I can handle finding the truck.”

“No, to grab your bag.”

“I—”

“C'mon, let me take care of you, like a guest. As a thank you,” he insisted, leading the way back through the kitchen.

Levi sighed. “Fine.” He pointedly ignored Mikasa and Carla's gaze as he left the room and followed Eren outside and to his truck. He unlocked the truck, and Eren leapt at the back door, pulling out his suitcase and holding it under his arm. He swung Levi's laptop bag over his opposite shoulder.

“Do you want to bring in the ice chest in to wash the Tupperware?”

“Yeah. And I can carry something,” he said, reaching around Eren to haul it out from the backseat.

“You've got the ice chest,” he responded, bouncing forth on the balls of his feet. His eyes darted around the street and Levi's hands.

“Let's go,” he said once Levi had shut and locked the truck.

Eren led him back into the house and down the hall past the living room. They went up a narrow staircase clad in old, shag carpet. At the end of the hallway was the guestroom. The walls were white. The carpet was teal. The twin bed was draped in a pink and white floral comforter and a lace blanket. A small white dresser sat against one wall, and a large mirror sat above it. Pale pink curtains covered the windows across from the door.

“Here we are. It's a bit girly, but it's clean,” Eren said as he sat down Levi's suitcase next to the dresser and set the laptop bag on top of the dresser. “Let me get this window. Fresh air and all.” He crossed across the room and pulled the curtains open, letting the early morning light stream in. He unlatched the windows and pushed them up. “Careful with the screen,” he said, turning around, his eyes bouncing around to everything except Levi, “it comes lose easily.”

“Are you okay?” Levi asked, setting the ice chest down. He crossed the room and unzipped his laptop bag, pulling out his charger.

“What?”

“You seem...skittish,” Levi said as he plugged in his phone and watch it blaze to life.

“Ah. No. I'm fine. Just trying to get back into the groove of home and family, ya know? Ah.” He slapped his hands together and rubbed them for a moment. “I'll leave you to settle in.” He headed back to the door. “Bathroom's down the hall on the left. Cleaning stuff's typically under the sink if you need it. Towels in the closet.” He nodded and turned to go.

“What's your number?” Levi asked, pulling up his keypad.

“Huh?” Eren's stared at him, his lips parted slightly.

“Number. For your phone,” he said waving his in front of him. “I still have those pictures from the campsite.”

“Oh! Yeah. You ready?” he asked. After Levi nodded his assent, he rattled the numbers off. His eyes widened. “Right! I still need to charge mine!” He ran off down the hall.

Levi chuckled as he sent the photos.

His phone started to ring repeatedly as texts, missed calls, and voice mails flooded his phone. Most were from Hanji with a few scattered in from Isabel and Farlan.

Pinching his eyes shut, he let out a breath before pulling up Hanji's contact and pressed the call button. He held the phone away from his ear and prepared for the barrage of exclamations and questions.

“LEVI! That better fucking be you! So help me, if you got yourself killed, I will go Orpheus on your ass and drag you back, and then I will kill you myself! You better have a good explanation for this. I have been worried out of my mind. You should see Isabel. Poor girl got sick last night worrying over if you were okay. Even Farlan was barely holding it together. No one had fucking clue were you where. Do you know how close I was to telling Erwin this and sending him out on a man-hunt with all his favors called in? You dropped off the face of the Earth! You promised to stay in contact, and then you didn't!”

“Calm down, Four Eyes. I forgot my car charger. I'm alive. I'm fine. I'm in Shigashina.”

“How does not having your car charger factor into this? Motels have WALL SOCKETS which can be used to charge your phone, you nincompoop!”

“We've been sleeping in the truck the last two nights.”

She paused. “ _We_?” A dangerous lilt tainted her voice that primarily came from the soft volume. “Are you still with that cute hitchhiker? Levi, sweetie, something you want to share?”

“Hanji,” he sighed. He sat down on the floor and leaned his head against the wall. “I took him home so he could be with his family. I'm staying the night, and I'll start heading back tomorrow.”

“Hold on. You—a stranger—drove their son home, and their response was to welcome you in with open arms?”

“It's just his mom. And his sister. She's a skeptical of me. He and his mom are the ones who convinced me to stay.”

“Aw. You already have parental approval. This is very classy courting, Levi. I never knew you to be such an old-time romantic at heart. How sweet. You're age is betraying you! You just need to bring him 'round here now for our approval, and we can start planning the ceremony.”

His heart seized as the realization that he wouldn't have Eren around much longer. “I don't have time for this shit. I'm taking a shower,” he ground out between his teeth.

Silence buzzed over the line for a few seconds.“Levi? Are you okay? Where's my Grumpy Pants?”

“I'm plenty grumpy.”

“Yeah, but not at the things you should be. You haven't even remarked about Erwin yet. Or that I essentially called you old. This is basic level grump stuff that you aren't reacting to.”

“I'm tired okay,” his voice caught in his throat. “I'll be home soon. Maybe I'll call you later.”

“All right. Levi, sweetie, I hope you are doing okay. Rest up. Let that mother actually mother you. You could use it.”

“Talk later, Four Eyes.”

She hummed, and he hung up.

Setting his phone on the dresser, he unzipped his suitcase. He took out his bathroom supplies and a fresh set of clothing. He made his way to the bathroom and locked the door. Putting his stuff on the counter, he looked around and nodded in satisfaction.

He grabbed a fluffy, yellow towel from the closet and set it on the counter. He peeled his clothes from his body and folded them neatly before setting them on the floor. Reaching over the edge of the tub, he turned the water on and tested the temperature. Finally, he stepped and shut the curtain and turning the shower head on. He took a deep breath and tried to relax into the steam.

 


	10. Family Catch Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A new chapter so soon? Why it is!

Steam curled around him as he left the bathroom. Levi breathed in the crisp air in the hallway and draped the towel over his head. He made his way back down the hall to the guest room and stashed his clothing in the trash bag with his other dirty clothes. Finding a spare hanger in the closet, he draped the towel over it.

Grabbing his phone, Levi fell back onto the bed and scrolled through the new messages, deleting as he went. He sent an apology to Isabel and Farlan before dropping his phone on the pillow.

He flipped onto his stomach and buried his head in the pillow. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to relax into the coolness.

His phone dinged.

Groaning, Levi sat up and grabbed it. He opened the new message from Isabel.

.

**i demand 2 b treated to coffee when u get back. i need the 2 b given an offering of appeasement. and gossip. hanji told. i need 101 on hottie**

.

Her message was soon followed by one from Farlan.

.

**Glad to hear you're alive. Don't go quite that long without contacting someone without a bit of warning, okay? And, you can charge your phone at a restaurant, asshole.**

.

He kept his replies brief. “No” and “Will do” sufficed.

Levi hauled himself out of bed and pocketed his cell phone. Slowly, he made his way down the hall.

A family portrait hung on the wall. Mikasa wasn't in it. In fact, Eren was nothing more than a large baby bump. His mother was smiling wide. A man with long hair brushing his shoulders, scraggly patches of hair on his chin, and small, round spectacles perched on his nose had his arms wrapped around her shoulders. His chin rested on her shoulder; his hands holding her stomach.

The next photo was nearly identical; Eren's mother and father, he assumed that's who the man was, looked a bit tireder as they held down a younger Eren who looked bored and ready to bolt from the photo. His front teeth were missing from his wide-mouthed holler as he pointed to something behind the camera.

Levi chuckled and turned from the photos, feeling guilty for prying.

He headed downstairs and peeked inside the living room. Only Carla was present. A full laundry basket sat on the couch nearby, and she contently folded the bundled clothes inside that he recognized as Eren's.

She looked up from his plaid shirt as Levi stepped into the room and smiled. “You look much happier, dear.”

He nodded. “Much. Thank you for the shower.”

She smiled. “Eren and Mikasa are in the kitchen fooling around most likely but claiming they're making lunch.”

He nodded and sat down across from her. “Do you need any help?”

“Oh no. I appreciate the work. Being confined to this wheelchair gets trying. At least I feel like I'm doing something now.”

Levi nodded and rubbed his hands together. He wiped a few stray droplets of water off his forehead and cheeks and scrubbed them off on his jeans.

Eren slapped his hand against the doorjamb and leaned in. “Hey Mom does—” Eren stopped short, drawing the 's' out in a hiss before clearing his throat. His eyes flickered over Levi for a moment. “Levi. Does egg salad sandwiches work for everyone? We don't have much, so more eggs I'm afraid. I'll go shopping while I'm out tomorrow, too.”

“Sounds fine.”

Levi nodded.

Eren returned the gesture and left.

The two sat in silence for a while before Carla spoke. “I feel like you are bursting with questions you're too polite to ask.”

“How're you doing? Eren didn't tell me much, but—”

She sighed at a single sock with no match and set it aside. “As well as can be expected.” She grimaced as her slender frame shook with a series of hacking. “It's just a lot of waiting now. But, I'm happy I have my family all here now. Anything else?”

“Um.” Levi picked at his fingernails.

She gave a huff he took as a laugh. “Pretty antsy, huh? It's all right.”

“I'm glad I could help out. If you need anything else, just let me know.”

Carla paused in her folding before finishing with the pair of socks in her hands and tossing them into the basket. She turned to Levi and wrapped a hand over his arm. “You've done plenty.” She squeezed and pulled back, focusing on her folding again “I have Eren back. Mikasa's here. I am content with my fate. I just wish—ah.”

“What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

Levi's eyes wandered around the room and spied a picture frame with a young Eren on the beach; he was held by the same man he'd seen in the other photos. Sand dusted both their bodies. Eren proudly displayed a green bucket and yellow shovel to the camera. The man was laughing. Another frame had the man with Eren and a somber looking Mikasa nuzzled in a red scarf. Another had a younger Carla shrieking in delight as he spun her around; he looked younger too—his face fuller and hair not as thin.

“Eren told me his father—” Levi began before he realized what was tumbling from his mouth. _Shit_. “I'm sorry,” he scrubbed his face. “I shouldn't. That was—I apologize. That's not something...”

“Went missing? Kidnapped?”

He froze before nodding. “Missing.”

Carla sighed and stared at the shirt in her lap before folding it and setting it on top of the pile. She reached over and grabbed a pair of jeans from the basket. “Eren was barely ten. It's the easiest explanation for him.”

“Did he walk out?”

The woman shrugged. Her eyes staying closed a second longer than necessary when she blinked. “I don't know for sure. Some days it's easier to believe that. Other days it's easier to believe Eren's convictions.”

“You—you really don't have to tell me this. I don't want to—”

“Hush. May as well. Everyone else in this town knows except you. Eren started tellin' you, anyways.” She sighed and shook her head. “My husband left for work one day and didn't come back. He just disappeared. Only his work supplies and the clothes on his back were gone. Everything was here. No one had any idea what happened. Apparently, he had left work early. Mikasa was new to our home then, and he wanted to spend time at home to help her adjust. But, he didn't come home. No one could trace him.”

She sighed and finished folding the laundry with shaky hands. Her teeth nibbled her bottom lip. “He was a good father. Not the best. Perhaps a bit distant, but he loved Eren. I don't know what to think most days.”

“We're all allowed a bit of contradictions in our beliefs.”

Carla gave him a small smile; she leaned over and wrapped his hands in hers. “Thank you for driving him here. It means a lot to him. I would have rather he stayed back in the city, but it's nice to see him.”

“I'm happy to have helped.”

Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she studied him closely, her eyes flickering over his face for several moments before she pulled back. “Well, I'm just happy that you aren't, what's the phrase, an old pervert—Eren was adamant against the fact in his defense of you—and that you didn't try anything, um, untoward. Not that I'm trying to draw your character into question, of course.”

Levi scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah. No. It's perfectly understandable. These are...particular circumstances.”

He was prevented from saying much else when Eren and Mikasa came into the living room with lunch.

Eren handed him a plate with an egg salad sandwich, apple slices, and potato chips. “Nothing fancy, but it's food. It's good, I promise. The bread might be a bit stale though,” he apologized, wincing a bit.

Levi accepted the plate with thanks.

Eren sat down before popping back up. “Oh!”

Both Carla and Mikasa hardly blinked an eye at his outburst. Instead, Mikasa handed over a plate of food to her mother and moved the folded laundry out of the way before sitting down in its place.

Eren set his plate down on the coffee table. “I'll get drinks. Anyone want something more special than water?”

“That's fine, dear.”

Levi shook his head.

“Milk,” Mikasa replied.

Nodding, Eren dashed out of the room and returned in few minutes with four glasses balanced precariously in his grip.

“This is the last of the milk, so enjoy it,” he said.

“So, Levi, what do you do?” Carla asked.

“He's a history teacher!” Eren chirped up around a bite of his sandwich. “Cool, huh?”

“Eren, chew your food,” his mother reprimanded.

“When has teaching ever been cool to you?” Mikasa piped up with at the same time.

Eren frowned at her and chewed.

“What do you teach?” Carla asked.

“World History,” he answered in between bites of food, covering his mouth with his hand.

“He also coaches kid's gymnastics!”

“A lot of work with kids,” Mikasa mumbled.

Eren glared at her. “Yeah. It's pretty cool.”

“Did you always want to teach, Levi?”

“Uh, no. I kind of stumbled into it.”

“What did you originally want to do?” Eren asked.

“Well,” he drew out. He brushed his hands off over his plate and set it down in his lap. He leaned back. “I just planned on working whatever job I could find. I didn't expect to get anywhere.”

Eren bit his lip and turned to his plate. His mother and sister watched silently.

“I dropped out of high school to take care of my mom,” he said, taking a deep breath to plow down memory lane. “After she died, I didn't expect much. Thought I'd keep working for my uncle, the piece of shit. But, I made some friends who helped my get an education and out of there.”

“Right,” Eren murmured.

“I guess I wanted to work with kids to show them that you're never too deep to pull yourself back up. Besides, I hated school and my teachers.” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “It's a bit of a middle finger to them as well whenever I get my class engaged.”

Carla returned the smiled.

Mikasa stood up. “I'll clean up.”

“Let me help,” Levi said, standing up. He grabbed Eren's plate, his own, and his glass and followed Mikasa back into the kitchen.

She made a beeline to the sink and flipped on the tap. Rinsing the plates off, she opened the dishwasher and began to stuff them in.

Levi stepped up next to her.

She snatched the two plates and glass from his hands, rinsed them, and put them in the washer. “Thanks, but as you can see, it goes faster when you don't insist on sanitizing them all by hand and let the machine do its work.”

“I like cleaning dishes. It's soothing,” Levi shot back, bristling a bit at the subtle attack.

She snorted, actually snorted. Shutting the dishwasher door with her foot, she put her hands on her hips and stared at him. “You're a piece of work.”

He took a deep breath and crossed his arms. “Look.” Pursing his lips, he stared at the floor before looking up to meet her eyes. “I assure you, whether or not you believe me, I don't ever want to hurt your brother. I had no intention of it from the beginning, and that intention has only solidified.”

“What is Eren to you?”

“What?” he spluttered.

“Dammit. What. Is. Eren. To you. I'm not asking again. I want an honest answer.” Her brows furrowed, and she jutted her chin out as she peered down at him over her nose.

Levi cleared his throat and made an effort to stand straighter. “I don't know what answer you are expecting to hear.”

“Try me.”

“I don't know. Passing ships and all. Tomorrow we'll both be in the past. I don't want anything to happen to him, and he's a great kid, but...” he cleared his throat. His eyes shifted to the water still pouring from the faucet. Levi reached over and turned it off. “That's all. I just gave him a ride.”

When he looked back, Mikasa's face had softened a touch, but she was still insisting on staring into his soul.

“Levi? Whoa. What's going on in here? Am I interrupting a death match? Mikasa...”

She shifted her focus from Levi to her brother. “What? I didn't do anything. Thanks for the help,” she said with a small smile before leaving the kitchen.

“She didn't threaten you, right?”

Levi let out a breathy laugh. “Of course not. Is that really what you think of your sister?”

“She's always been over-protective. I've learned to be suspicious.”

Shaking his head, Levi headed to where Eren stood in the doorway. “What can I do for you?” he asked, cocking his head up to meet his gaze.

Eren blinked for a moment; his lips parted slightly before his jaw clacked shut. “Ugh...”

Levi arched his eyebrow and made his way back to the living room when he wasn't forthcoming.

Shouting, Eren followed him. “Where's your book? I want to try to finish it before you go.”

“Get your own copy,” he said, sitting on the couch.

“C'mon!”

“Wait, Eren reading? Do my ears deceive me?” Mikasa asked from where she was curled up in the corner of the couch.

“Shut the hell up, Mikasa!”

She smiled.

“Be nice you two.”

“No, but really,” Mikasa said turning to Levi, “if you got him reading, please don't keep it from him. We don't know when the next time may surface. We have to fully study this phenomenon now.”

“You're chatty all of a sudden,” Eren accused, his eyes narrowing. “When did you become all chummy? What did she say? What happened in the kitchen?” His eyes turned to Levi, wide in mock-hurt from his feelings of betrayal.

Levi covered his mouth his fingers, fighting to keep his smile in check. “Nothing for your ears.”

“We discovered mutual ground on a shared blunt, sarcastic humor.”

Eren crossed his arms. “Childish is how I'd describe it.”

Mikasa huffed a laugh. “But really. Legal pad anyone? Eren asking for a book. This needs documentation.”

“All right, Mikasa, that's enough. Don't go making such a big deal about this. But, Levi, truly, grab the book before the mood leaves him,” Carla said with a smirk on her lips and a twinkle in her eye.

Levi barely contained a bark of laughter.

“Yeah. Go on. Gang up on me. What's so funny anyway, huh?”

Shaking his head, Levi leaned back and tossed his arm over the back of the couch. “I feel like I never left my apartment. Be glad my friend Hanji isn't here. She might just follow through and create a full-blown experiment.”

“I don't even know her! It's a joke,” Eren whined. “A really shitty one, too.”

“Science is no joke to Hanji. The worst mistake you can make with her is believing otherwise.”

“Noted. But, really, where's the book?”

“My laptop bag. It should be where you last put it—if you put it back.”

Eren waved is hand as he left. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Levi shook his head and ran a hand through his hair; the still damp strands slapped against his forehead and cheeks as they fell back in place. He looked up to see Mikasa and Carla watching him. He cleared his throat and leaned back on the couch, tossing his arm over the back.

Eren bursted back into the room with the book in hand and plopped down on the couch next to Levi. His head bounced against Levi's arm, and he muttered a distracted apology. He crossed his legs underneath him and opened to his bookmark. His eyes began to scan the page before he paused and looked up at Levi.

“It's okay if I read ahead now, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Go for it.”

Eren smiled and turned back to the book.

A light laugh caught his attention. Levi looked up to see Carla covering her mouth with a handkerchief as she coughed, but her eyes were crinkled in amusement.

There was a knock on the door.

“Carla?” a man called.

“It should be unlocked, Hannes!” she replied.

A tall, lanky man walked in the front door. His short, blonde hair collected in tiny spikes around his head. A thin mustache graced his upper lip. Faded and thin jeans hung from his hips.

Eren jumped up besides him, dropping the book on couch. “Hannes!” he shouted, launching himself at the man.

“Hey, Eren.” He smiled and returned the one-arm hug. “How are you doing, kiddo?”

The brunet nodded and leaned forward, sniffing the man suspiciously. “What's this? I don't smell any alcohol.”

“Eren!” Carla shouted.

The man laughed and ruffled Eren's hair like he was a five year old. “I've turned over a new leaf since you left, Eren. Three years sober. I've even gotten a promotion.”

“Really?”

“You bet. All thanks you your mom here. I owe it to her.”

“Wait.” Eren paused and leaned away. His eyes flickered to Mikasa before staring at his mom. “Are you? Are you two? Like, together?”

“No, sweetie. Hannes is just a good friend.”

The man nodded, exaggerating the simple gesture.

Levi saw Eren let out a small sigh of relief before he smiled again. “Hannes, this is Levi! He gave me a ride.”

Hannes eyes narrowed as he studied Levi. He put his hands on his hips and raised his chin, puffing out his chest. “Hm,” he grunted. “Good to meet you.”

Levi nodded. “Same.”

“So, what's the occasion, Hannes?” Carla interrupted.

Eren slunk away from Hannes to curl up on the sofa next to Levi again with his book. He sat closer this time, and he kept his back straighter. His body shifted to face Hannes despite his attention drifting to the pages on the book.

Levi felt a heat flare in his chest and pool in his stomach as he studied Eren's posture. He tried to follow the conversation, but he was completely lost when his attention managed to grasp the words being said instead of the bend of Eren's neck as he hunched over the book. He tried to keep his eyes on the three, at least look like he was following the conversation. Finally, he gave up and pretended to scroll through his phone.

“You're going to hurt your neck if you sit like that,” he muttered.

Eren's head popped up. His eyes dazed and unfocused as he struggled to process what Levi said. He blinked slowly as he stared at Levi's lips. “Oh! Right,” he mumbled before leaning back on the couch and bumping into Levi's arm.

He started pulling his arm away, but Eren stopped him.

“I don't mind,” he whispered.

Levi nodded, crossed his legs, and focused on his phone again.

Eren's hair tickled the skin of his forearm. His neck radiate heat. His knee had moved so that it hovered against the middle of Levi's thigh.

It was warm.

His skin itched.

But, it was comfortable.

“Eren? Eren!”

They both startled to attention. Mikasa and Carla were staring at them. Hannes was no where to be seen.

“What?”

“I asked if you want to just order something,” Mikasa said.

“I could cook something,” Levi offered.

“Levi, when I said we didn't have anything, I mean we don't have anything,” Eren said.

“My specialty ingredients,” he replied standing up. “At least let me take a look first. I'd rather avoid more take out if I can,” he said to Carla.

She waved her hand. “Go for it.”

“Thanks.” Levi made his way into the kitchen and began to peer through the cabinets and fridge.

“Here's the pantry.” Eren led him to a sliding door in the mudroom.

Levi stepped up behind him and looked around him. “I see plenty of food to work with.”

“Half of this is probably expired.”

“Well, then, we'll sort through it,” he said, grabbing a can of beans and looking at the expiration date. “Tell Mikasa she doesn't need to order anything. I'm not sure what I'm going to make, but I can make something.”

Eren nodded and turned to leave.

“Then come back. I'll need an extra pair of hands to toss these,” he said, shaking an expired can of corn.

In the end, he found enough food to make fried rice. He even had pieces of bacon; well, what was left once he cut away the freezer burned ends. Of course, even more eggs were involved. The frozen veggies he had found were sizzling in the frying pan.

“Eren?”

“Yeah?” he mumbled.

“Can you bring the rice now?”

“Mhmm.” The book thudded against the table. Eren popped up next to him with the Pyrex of cooked rice. “What do I do?”

“Dump it in.”

Eren nodded and obeyed.

Levi slowly stirred it in and started pouring in some soy sauce. “The eggs and bacon.”

He was back in a moment and put in the requested ingredients.

“Thanks. I can take it from here. You can get back to the book. It should be ready soon.”

Eren nodded, but he just leaned against the counter and watched Levi work. He turned away and crossed his arms, focusing on the ceiling. “I haven't picked up a book since Dad stopped reading to me. Mikasa had to force me to sit through her reading SparkNotes to me for school assignments. That's why they were shocked.”

“You picked up my book pretty quickly.”

He cleared his throat. “It seemed interesting.”

“Did it live up to expectations?”

“Yeah. A bit more, too,” he whispered. He coughed. “I'll get some bowls.”

Levi nodded and followed him with his eyes for a moment. He finished up the fried rice and filled up the four bowls.

They each took two and headed back into the living room. Eren handed off his to his mom and sister and grabbed the extra in Levi's grip with a smile.

Levi's heart seized, and he felt the heat building up to his face. This time, he was the one offering to get drinks for everyone just to get away and take a deep breath.

He was leaving tomorrow, he reminded himself sullenly. This needed to stop.

He tried to ignore the hollow feeling that brought.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I have absolutely no idea what book he's reading? Because I don't. I was hoping to have one in mind by now, but I don't. I think I can afford the ambiguity though...


	11. One Day More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A chapter? I've actually had this done for a while. It just took me forever to edit a bit. 
> 
> Yeah, I'm alive and finished with school. I'm going to try and get this finished soon. Hopefully by the end of June. Only four more chapters and an epilogue left!

“Did you just take a shower?” Eren accosted him when he stepped out of the bathroom the next morning.

“Yes.”

“That's your third one!”

“I like feeling clean. I feel like all that dirt is caked in my pores,” he said, stepping around him and heading to his room.

“I'm gonna try and find some breakfast, and then I'll head out,” Eren said, following him.

“All right.”

“Why don't you come with me?”

Levi paused as he zipped up his suitcase. “Why?”

“Because shopping alone is boring. I also didn't think you'd want to be stuck at home with my family as you waited for me to get your money.”

Levi turned and sat on the bed. “I can follow you to the bank, get the money, and then head out.”

Eren's shoulders slumped, and he leaned against the door frame. “I guess,” he mumbled. “But that's no fun.”

“For who? You or me?”

He gnawed at his bottom lip, but didn't answer.

“Are you coming are not?” Eren finally asked.

Levi sighed and stood up. “May as well. What's a few more hours?”

Eren beamed.

“Forget breakfast here though. We'll stop somewhere. If I have to eat more eggs, I'll be sick.”

He thought it was impossible, but Eren's smile widened even further. “How do pancakes sound?”

He nodded. “Good.”

“Great! I'll grab the keys and then we can head out!” Eren dashed from the room.

Levi laughed and shook his head as he hung up his towel. Pocketing his phone and wallet, he left the room and made his way downstairs, nearly crashing into Eren when he hit the bottom of the stairs.

“Whoa!” Eren grabbed his arms and steadied them both. “I was just coming up to see where you were. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded.

Levi raised an eyebrow.

“Right!” Eren let go of him and scratched the back of his neck. “Let's go.”

They made their way through the kitchen. Mikasa sat at the table, scowling as she chomped away on milk-less cereal.

“Don't eat that!” Eren screeched.

“It's stale,” she stated, tossing her spoon in the bowl and shoving it away like it had personally offended.

“I know! That's why I'm going to the store.”

“I thought it was still good.”

“No. It's not. Maybe if you learned how to close the cereal box it might still be good.”

She huffed and stood up. “I do it perfectly fine.” She filled a mug with coffee. “Besides, I have coffee. The world will keep spinning.” She waved a hand over her shoulder as she left the kitchen. “Now go shopping with your boyfriend.”

“Mikasa!” Eren shouted, mortified. “I—I'm sorry. I—Mikasa!” he growled.

Levi put his hand on his shoulder. “C'mon. I'm starving.”

Blushing, Eren nodded and headed out through the mudroom.

They climbed into the car parked in the driveway. Eren swung by the bank and then pulled into an I-Hop. “This okay?”

“Yeah.”

After a filling breakfast, they hopped back into the car.

“So how much do I owe you?”

“What?”

“How much? I know it was twenty-three for the motel. Six for the campsite. How much did you spend on gas and food. Approximately.”

“Uh.”

“Never mind. Here. That should cover it.” Eren stuffed three hundred dollars into Levi's hand.

“I think that's a bit much. The truck has good mileage, and gas is cheap.”

“Then it'll cover the extra for the way back.”

“Eren.”

“Just take it,” he insisted as he pulled out of the parking spot.

Levi nodded and stuck the cash in his wallet. His heart sunk as he thought about every hardship Eren had related to him. Glancing over at Eren, he saw that his eyes were concentrated intently on the road. He slipped all the cash out and tucked it into the pocket on the door as he put his wallet away.

They reached Wal-Mart in a few minutes. Eren grabbed the cart and wheeled it through the parking lot. He hopped onto the bottom rung. “Push me!”

“I'm not going to push you.”

“C'mon! It's fun!”

“You're going to lose your balance and break your neck.”

“Not if you stand behind me,” he said defiantly with a pout.

Levi groaned and stepped up behind Eren. “I'm not touching that thing. I'd say over my dead body, but if I touched it, that's what I'd be.”

“Then just push my back.”

“Eren.”

“C'mon!” he begged.

“Eren!” a new voice shouted.

Eren spun around and slipped off the cart, crashing into Levi's chest. “A-Armin?” he spluttered, standing up straight to greet a small blond making his way over to them.

Levi arched an eyebrow at the name and studied the tiny, young man. Bright, blond hair brushed just below his chin. He had wide blue eyes and a small, button nose

“It is you! I'm so happy to see you!” He swooped forward to wrap Eren up in a hug. He pulled away and ran his eyes up and down Eren. “How have you been? What are you doing back? Is your mom okay? Nothing's happened, right? Mikasa said—”

“She's fine,” Eren jumped in. “I'm just back for—uh—moral support and all. Besides, the city wasn't really working out for me.”

Armin smiled. “You mean college wasn't.”

“That too,” he admitted. “But don't tell, Mom!”

He mimed zipping his lips shut and then pointed at Levi. “So? Are you going to introduce me?”

Eren blinked. “Oh! This is Levi!” He reached behind him to slap Levi on the shoulder. “He drove me up.”

Levi held out his hand with a quiet, “Pleasure.”

Armin shook his hand. “How'd you meet?”

“I picked him up from the side of the road,” he replied.

“Eren!” He dropped Levi's hand and turned on Eren.

“I've already gotten an earful from Mom and Mikasa. I don't need it from you, too. So, uh, how are you doing? School? Work? Seeing anyone?” he asked in a rush.

“Good!” Armin smiled, not noticing or not reacting to Eren's nervousness. “I graduated last year.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah. I just about died my senior year, but I managed! I took a year off, and I'm heading out to the coast for my graduate program.”

“What are you studying?” Levi asked.

“Environmental science, focus on conservation and human geography. There's a great program out there, and I'm so happy I was accepted.”

“I'm glad to hear it,” Eren said it.

“And a partial yes to the work. I've primarily been interning, but I do some seasonal work with Shadis at his shop. Remember him?”

“Yeah.”

“Jean and Marco and Connie and Sasha are there, too. And, no, to that last question...not since, uh,” Armin's voice petered off. “You'll never believe it! Jean and Marco are finally engaged!”

Eren blinked. The muscles in his jaw tightened. “What?”

Levi's eyes traced the tension in Eren's body. His fingers twitched at his side. He wanted to reach out and rub his shoulders; he wanted to say something, do something to get the tension to go away and bring back his smile.

“Yeah.” Armin gave a strangled laugh and rubbed his arm. “Last month. Turned the town on its head. I don't think quite everyone has let it go yet, though.”

Eren nodded. His mouth clenched shut.

“Jean and Marco have been dancing around each other since high school,” Armin elaborated for Levi. “But...”

Levi nodded and the three lapsed into silence.

“We should get together and catch up more thoroughly, uh,” Eren paused and rethought his words. “That didn't—”

Armin laughed, his nose crinkling. “I know what you meant. How about coffee? At Titan's? Can you do later today? I head out at the end of this week, and things are more than a bit hectic right now.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Eren nodded. “Definitely. What time?”

“Does three work?”

“Yeah. I'll see you then!” He hit the palm of his hand against the cart before grabbing it and pointing at the store. “I should probably actually get those groceries now. See ya,” he nodded and walked off.

Levi watched him go.

Armin cleared his throat. “So, you and Eren?”

“Hm?” Levi blinked down at him. That was a new experience for him, looking down at someone.

His eyebrows raised. He glanced at Eren's retreating form and then back to Levi. “You two.”

“Oh no.” Levi waved his hand. He ran his fingers through his hair. His roots were still damp. “He's pretty hung up on someone right now,” he admitted, not meeting Armin's steady gaze.

“I'd agree.”

Levi looked over. Armin was smiling.

“Well, I should be leaving. It was nice meeting you, Levi.”

“Same.”

Armin pulled out a pair of keys and started walking away. He looked over his shoulder. “You may want to catch up with Eren or you'll lose him. Trust me, it's easier to do than you think,” he called out.

Levi raised his hand in recognition and jogged into the store after Eren. He found him in the produce section bagging green peppers.

“I don't know what to make of him.”

“What?” Eren looked at him, his brows wrinkled, as he set the knotted bag in the cart.

“Armin. He simultaneously nurtures a protective urge and a preservation urge. I don't know if he's in need of protecting or if he's about to go for my jugular.”

Eren laughed; his arm clutched his stomach. “I think you just perfectly summed him up. And you're like that, too. Only you don't get cute until you sleep.”

Levi's heart stuttered. “You're watching me sleep. Who's the pervert now?”

Eren smirked. “Still you, old man.”

“Brat,” he shot back.

“Hey,” Eren said as he turned away from Levi and rolled the cart over to the fruit. “Why don't you stay another night. I mean, what's one more, right?”

“I already promised everyone I'd head back today,” he said. _Don't ask me to stay_. _I don't have the strength to say no. But I really don't have the strength to say good-bye if I stay much longer_.

The corner of Eren's lips turned down. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“You all right?” Levi asked, his brows puckering.

He nodded.

Levi reached forward and grabbed Eren's arm. “Hey. What's up?”

“I just. I'm worried about talking with Armin, and I was hoping...” He sighed. “Never mind. It was stupid.”

Levi bit the inside of his cheek. “Would you like it if I stayed another day? For moral support? I could do some laundry. Fix some food for the road.”

“Take another shower.” Eren smiled.

He returned the gesture. “I have at least two more showers in my future.”

“Would you?” His gaze shifted downward. “It's not too much trouble? You don't have to. I'm just being—”

“No. It's fine. What's one more day, right?” Levi asked as he grabbed a bunch of bananas and slipped them into a bag.

_A thousand times harder to say good-bye. That's what another day is_.

Levi shoved the sentiment down and tried to focus on the positive: one more day with Eren.

 

 


	12. Don't Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Slowly and steadily we approach the end of this fic.

Eren barged into the laundry room as Levi poured detergent into the washer.

“How do I look? Do I look okay? Am I trying too hard?” he asked in a rush.

“One moment,” Levi mumbled as he shut the washer and adjusted the settings before turning it on. He turned around and rested his elbows on the machine. “Now, what are you going on about?”

Eren shoulders sagged as he let out a huff. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook out his bangs. “I’m meeting Armin in twenty minutes.” He held out his arms and spun. “How do I look?”

Studying the loose fit of his shirt that showed the slim tone of his arms and the breadth of his shoulders and chest, Levi cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “What look are you going for?”

“Casual old friend meet up,” he said slowly.

“Is this what you’d wear to meet your sister for coffee?”

“God no.”

Levi turned and grabbed the garbage bag his clothes had been in. He shook it out and folded it. “Then I think you might want to make a few changes to your wardrobe.”

“Like, dress down?”

He gave a single nod.

“Well, I could maybe put on an older shirt. But, I’m keeping the jeans. They make my ass look good, and I want to appear I have some of my life together.”

“And a good view of your ass will help demonstrate that?” Levi asked as he walked out the laundry room; his shoulder brushed Eren’s on the way out.

Eren tossed him a devilish smile over his shoulder. “It can’t hurt.”

Levi shrugged and headed up the stairs. “Good luck,” he called down behind him.

“It doesn’t hurt you as well!”

“What?” Levi looked over his shoulder, a question carved in the wrinkles of his face.

Eren’s bright eyes flickered down at his hips for a moment. His smile widened as he winked, and then he was gone.

Levi’s heart stuttered. He took a deep breath. The garbage bag crinkled in his hands. “You’re leaving tomorrow,” he mumbled to himself as he kept going up the stairs.

His mantra did nothing to calm the blood rushing through his veins and the overwhelming desire he had to curl himself around Eren and bury his nose in his neck.

* * *

Eren wasn’t back for dinner.

He wasn’t back by the time his mom went to bed with knowing smile and a pat on Levi’s shoulder. (Levi wasn’t quite sure what she believed herself to know.)

He wasn’t back when Mikasa unfurled herself from her corner of the sofa and went to bed.

Eren didn’t walk inside the living room until it was only Levi curled up on the sofa accompanied by the blue glow of the TV.

“I thought you would’ve gone to sleep, get an early start and all in the morning.”

Levi swallowed and turned down the already low volume of the TV. He wouldn’t say anything about staying up and keeping a quiet presence until Eren got home just to guarantee he got to see him at least once more before he left.

“Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d see what was on TV.”

“Anything good?” Eren asked, plopping down on the sofa next to him with a heavy huff.

“Not really.”

Eren hum and plucked at the hem of his shirt. “You want something to drink? I’m in the mood for hot chocolate.”

“It was a hundred-and-two degrees outside today, and you want hot chocolate?”

“Yes. Hot chocolate in the summer. Ice cream in the winter. Get with the program, old man.” He smiled. “Besides any time is hot chocolate time,” he said standing up.

“I’d argue with that. This afternoon was not a time for it.”

“So you get it blended. They place we went to does that. It’s pure heaven,” Eren explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But then it isn’t _hot_ chocolate anymore.”

Eren waved his hand and turned away. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

“Exactly,” Levi nearly growled. “If it’s cold, it’s not _hot chocolate_.”

“Do you want a mug, yes or no?”

Levi grumbled. “Yes.” He’d take anything that gave him more time with Eren at this point.

Eren chuckled deep in his throat as he shuffled out of the room.

Curled up and quiet, Levi dragged a hand over his face. He was not helping himself here. But, he couldn’t bring himself to worry about potential heartache. Not now. He had to enjoy this for what it was: his last few moments with Eren, the end of their road trip.

The overhead fan whirred to life over his head.

Eren snuck back in and slipped onto the seat next to Levi. He handed over a warm mug. Transparent wisps of steam curled from it. Two large marshmallows bobbed at the surface of his drink.

“I didn’t make it too hot. I am conscious of the weather whether or not you believe that.”

Levi hesitantly brought the mug to his lips and took a sip. Smooth liquid slipped over his tongue. The chocolate was rich and thick, coating his tongue and throat in semi-sweet slickness. He pursed his lips together and nodded. “It’s good.”

Eren smiled and slurped his. He coughed.

“Careful. Don’t take too much at once,” Levi reprimanded.

That only worsened Eren’s hacking. Red rose to his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Levi leaned forward. “Breathe.”

“I’m--trying,” Eren fought out. After a particularly wet and rattling cough, his heaving subsided. He cleared his throat and rested his head against the cushions. Shutting his eyes and nestling his mug between his legs, he said, “So, I finally managed to talk with Armin...about everything.”

Levi set down his mug. He twisted his knee up on the couch and faced Eren. “And?”

Eren’s eyes opened and stared at the ceiling.

Levi had the distinct impression that he wasn’t focusing on the ceiling. He could see Eren’s eyes tracing the constellations that soared above the house.

“Um...well...to paraphrase I guess, he wasn’t all that surprised with things. He said it made sense. He suspected a lot--with my dad and that night and all. He said he used to have a small crush on me, too.” He gave a hollow laugh. “Imagine that. We could’ve dated. I wonder how that would’ve worked.”

Reaching for his drink, Levi said, “If you spend too much time wondering about the past you’ll forget to enjoy the present and forget to look forward to the future.”

“You sure are wise after hours.”

He smirked over the rim of his mug. “I’m wise at all hours.”

They sipped their cooled drinks for a few moments. The buzz of indistinguishable chatter on an infomercial the only sound between them.

“So.” Levi cleared his throat as he turned to sit straight again. He crossed his legs. “Are you going to trying pursuing anything or have you both closed that chapter of your life?”

“No. We’ve both got our sights set elsewhere. It was nice to reconcile, I guess. But it still feels....”

“Unfinished?”

“Yeah. And empty. Not too much different. Just a bit more resolved I don’t know what to do with. Questions answered to make way for more. Just kind of floating around.”

Levi nudged his shoulder gently against Eren’s. “I’ve learned that’s adulthood. Maybe someday things will click. Incomplete pieces making a whole.”

“Do you think you can be whole on your own? Or do you need someone else?” He returned the gesture and then rested his head on Levi’s shoulder.

“I think we all need someone.” He shifted so that his arm draped around Eren’s shoulders. “But I think that someone isn’t the same... _type_ of someone for everyone. Sometimes it isn’t even just one person. I think we are all a conglomerate of the best in everyone we know.”

“Were you and Erwin like that?”

Levi paused to think. His fingers found their way to Eren’s hair. He ran them through the soft strands as he collected his memories and thoughts into words and sentences.

“We were. But, after time and strain we just pulled out the worst. Relationships change. People change.”

“That scares me. I’d like to think that there is one person. Who fills in all the holes even with all that changing.”

Levi hummed and twisted a lock of hair between his fingers. He took a sip of cold hot chocolate. He leaned his head back and glanced at his fingers intertwined in brown hair.

He flinched.

“Sorry,” he muttered, withdrawing his arm and dropping his hand into his lap.

“For what?”

“Your hair. I forgot. You don't like—”

“It's okay when you do it,” he mumbled sitting up and headbutting Levi's shoulder.

Levi let out a short hum and wrapped his arm around Eren's shoulders again and carded his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp and fluffing out the end of the brunet strands.

“Did you finish my book yet?”

“No. I don’t think I’m going to.”

“You want to read some more? I'll read it to you,” Levi offered. He wanted more time. More time to hold Eren, to feel his warmth seeping into his skin, to hear his voice, to watch him breathe. He bit his lip as his heart seized. _I can’t_.

“You'll be confused.”

“It's fine.”

“You'll spoil yourself. How about a movie?”

“A bit late to start something long,” he said, glancing at the dialogue clock on the end table.

“And not to read?” Eren nuzzled deeper into Levi’s side. “This is good.”

That was when Levi became convinced all of the universe was conspiring against him and Eren having time together. Or, perhaps it had gifted him with the chance to pull away and lessen the hardship he endured.

“I’m glad to hear it, and I hate to bearer of bad news, but I have to get up.”

Eren wrapped an arm around Levi’s waist, pinning him to the sofa. “No.”

“Yes. I have to pee.”

“Hold it.”

Levi grabbed his arm and tried to pull it off him. Huffing, he dug into his pocket for his cellphone and yanked it out. He shined the light in Eren’s eyes. “Up.”

“You’re a meanie,” Eren growled as he snatched Levi’s phone away from him and rolled over.

As Levi stepped out of the room, he heard his phone chime. _Who the hell..._

“Levi! Someone's calling,” Eren called out in a harsh whisper.

“Can you get it? I'll be there in a moment,” he said as he slipped into the bathroom.

When he finished and stepped back into the living room, Eren was curled up on the sofa nodding seriously at whatever the person on the other end of the line was saying.

A rock dropped into Levi’s stomach.

“Who is it?”

Eren startled and blinked at him. “Hanji.”

“She didn't say anything too outrageous, right?” He questioned, gesturing for the phone.

“Nope,” he assured with a small smile.

“You are hiding something.” He pointed an accusing finger. “What did you tell him?” he barked into into the phone, flinching at the volume of his voice.

“Nothing, sweet Levi. What makes you think I would tell him something?” Hanji crooned on the other side.

“Why are you calling this late? Why are you even up?”

“I could ask you the same thing, mister.”

“You are the one who called me.”

“I just wanted,” she drawled her answer out, “to say let me know when you leave and when you’re close to being back. We, uh, want to make sure Erwin isn’t around when you first get back.”

Levi waved his hand around before pinching the bridge of his nose. “No. No. Don’t worry about that. I will call to let you know.”

“Great! Night, Levi! Don’t let the bedbugs bite!” she chirped entirely too cheerily for the hour of night--well, morning--it was.

Stifling a yawn as the hour finally caught up to him, Levi pocketed his phone. “C’mon. Time to get some sleep.”

The corners of Eren’s mouth twitched upwards. “You go ahead. I’m gonna clean up first.”

Levi paused. “Responsible and wise. You’re learning. I approve.”

He tried to convince himself that the TV made it appear that there was a blush on Eren’s face.

Curling around a pillow that night, Levi fell asleep imagine the warmth of Eren’s body against his back.


	13. New Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Here we go! We're sprinting to the finishing line!

Sunlight peeking through the curtain woke Levi. Grumbling, he turned onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow. He stretched out his limbs until his joints cracked. He arched his back and rolled his shoulders. Relaxing, he sighed as his muscles eased and loosened. Pops rolled up his upper back and into his neck as the stiffness in his joints disappeared. 

Goosebumps dotted his skin. The warm air that had weighed heavy on him last night had left through the window he had opened at some point in the restless night and welcomed cool, damp morning air to take its place. He regretted deciding to sleep without a shirt as he shivered and pulled the sheets up over his bare shoulders. Burrowing deeper into the pillow, he vowed that he would not move for at least another ten minutes. The sun unfairly woke him up early. Getting an early start on leaving be damned. 

His heart started.

He was leaving today.

Without opening his eyes, he pulled the covers back and clammered from bed like a stubborn cat. He even gave a matching yawn to the imagine. 

The air was cold against his legs. His toes turned purple. Running across the room on the balls of his feet, he dashed to his suitcase and grabbed a pair of socks, stuffing his frozen feet into them.

“Fucking cold,” he muttered.

He enjoyed the cold more than excessive heat, but that was only when he was bundled with a hot drink and Ere--

He shook his head, dislodging a lump in his throat. That had never been a reality. Okay. It had been. Once. But not again. He shouldn’t focus on it. Not now.

As Levi ruffled through his clothes for a pair of jeans, there was a light tap on the door.

“Levi?”

“Yeah.”

The door creaked open. “I just wanted to make sure you were up since you--” A squeak cut off the rest of Eren’s sentence.

Levi glanced over to see a very red-faced Eren staring resolutely at the floor. It was only then that he became embarrassingly aware of his state of dress. Clearing his throat, he muttered an apology and slipped into jeans and the first shirt he grabbed. “Okay. Sorry for that. Uh--thanks. Thanks for the--”

“Yeah. No problem. At all. Sorry for--uh--just barging in. I complain about that enough,” Eren talked over him. “Mikasa cooked breakfast. I saved you a plate. Whenever you want.”

“Thanks. I’ll head down after I finish packing.”

Eren nodded and left. His eyes never raised higher than the floor.

Sighing and scrubbing his face with his hand, Levi crossed the room to where his phone sat charging. He pulled out the cord, rolled it up, and stuck it in his laptop bag. He peered at the time: 8:20. 

Shoving his phone in his pocket, he went about gathering his scarce scattering of property around the room and packed it in his suitcase. He checked the ice chest to make sure all the Tupperware he had brought was present. After the bed was made and everything was zipped and present, Levi stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath in through his nose and slowly let it out between his lips. He gave himself a curt nod and grabbed his bags, heading downstairs.

The kitchen was empty when he set his belongings on the floor just outside the mudroom. A paper towel covered plate sat on the table next to a lukewarm mug of coffee. 

Levi smiled and removed the towel to reveal scrambled eggs, toast, tomatoes, and bacon. He bit off a piece of bacon as he stuck his coffee in the microwave to warm up. Once it was suitably hot, he sat down and placed the paper towel on his lap. 

Levi ate slowly, enjoying each bite but also waiting for Eren to walk in and sit with him. 

It didn’t happen.

He finished alone in silence. He cleaned his dishes alone in silence. He even cleaned off the table and countertop alone in silence. 

When he couldn’t stall his inevitable departure any more, he dried his hands and wandered into the living room. Mikasa was curled up in her normal spot reading. Carla knitted as she watched the local news. Eren was nowhere to be see.

Levi shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. “I wanted to thank you for everything before I headed out.”

Mikasa glanced up at him, nodded her acceptance, and turned back to the book on her lap. 

“You’re leaving already?” Carla shook her head. “I should’ve known,” she mumbled under her breath to her needles. “The moping.”

Ignoring her comment, he said, “I don't want to impose anymore. You have been so nice to let me stay this long. I really appreciate it.”

“Well, Eren insisted. I was a bit disappointed in the whole stranger and hitchhiker situation at first to be honest.”

Levi blinked and leaned forward. “Pardon?”

“Eren spent ten solid minutes convincing me to let you stay that first night. Cut a happy, tearful reunion short to plead your case. I hadn't seen him that dedicated to a cause since…” She took a deep breath and shook her head as if trying to dredge up a cobwebbed memory.

“Avoiding reading. In dad being missing,” Mikasa supplied.

Levi ignored her comments and focused on a very particular part of Carla’s statement. “Wait. Hold on. Are you telling me—”

“That Eren didn't want to say good-bye so soon and decided to convince his mother to let a stranger stay in her house? Yes, I am. He's always had a hard time saying good-bye to people he cared for. Take whichever interpretation of that makes you happy.” She smiled to herself as she kept knitting. “It was a pleasure meeting, unexpectedly so. I hope this won’t be the only time we socialize. Eren’s out front.”

Swallowing, Levi didn’t try to say anything. He nodded and turned on his heel. Quickly grabbing everything, he put on his shoes and left. The door rattled behind him. He made a beeline to Farlan’s truck, trying to outrun the rapid pace of his heart as it tried to leap out of his throat. He stuffed his bags in the back seat and slammed the door shut. He peered over the pickup bed and spied Eren’s slumped form on the concrete steps in front of his house; his knees digging into his chest.

Levi took a rattling breath and stuck his hands into his pockets. He shuffled up the walkway and sat down next to Eren, stretching his legs out in front of him. After a moment he pulled his hands from his pockets and rested them on the pavement behind him. The rough concrete dug into his soft palms. He flinched a bit didn’t change his position. Eren’s shoulder was brushing against his.

Several minutes of silence elapsed before Eren spoke up.

“You leaving?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

Eren nodded but kept silent. He pulled his knees tighter to his chest before releasing them and taking up a position similar to Levi’s. The edges of their pinkies brushed. Neither of them moved.

“You remember that first night, when you were talking about what kind of man Erwin was and what kind of man you were?” Eren asked, breaking their silence.

“Yes.”

“You said you saved the lives before the plan and how it was selfish. I understand that now.”

Levi glanced over at Eren, trying to get a read on his face. He couldn’t make out anything helpful. “Yeah?”

“He was selfish because he put his goals of helping ahead of the goals of the person he was trying to help. Meanwhile, you...you put your feelings ahead your goals.”

“How you figure that?”

“With the break up. You saved the life before the plan. You wanted to make sure you were safe; your emotions were safe. You hoped that would get you your plan; you hoped that would end things. You were selfish in worrying about protecting your life. Focusing on the narrow. It's easier to run away that way.”

Eren took a deep breath and stopped as if waiting for Levi to defend himself. He would. He felt the aggravation churning in him, but he had become desensitized to it and to being told he had run away. Because...

Quite frankly, it was true.

“You could both work out well together, if you talked through things. He has the ideas and you have the wits to keep things focused. You both make up for each other's failings and carry the other through. Opposites attract and all. You'd compliment each other well. Make a whole,” he whispered.

Levi rattled his lips and stared up at the sky. He squint against the sun pouring over the houses across the street. “I think I fucked things up too much at this point. Things couldn't go back. I don't want them to go back to how they were anyways. I was unhappy.”

“Then don't. You could try to make it better.”

Levi shook his head to meet Eren’s gaze. “I don't think it will work like that, Eren. I'm hoping we could maybe just find friendship again.”

A shaggy mop of brunet hair slumped onto his shoulder.

His heart clenched, and he buried his nose into Eren's hair. He took a deep breath: sweat and dirt and cinnamon; it was a musk that was somehow perfectly Eren.

A loud car rumbled by, some part of it squeaking dangerously.

Levi wanted to freeze this moment. Or snapshot it. Something to let him always have it with him. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to wrap his arms around Eren and never leave, breathing in this scent for the rest of his life.

A car door slamming shut broke the crystal bubble around both of them. Levi could almost hear his dreams shattering around him on the pavement and falling into the garden to be food for the plants and scavengers.

The two of them pulled apart and stood up. 

Levi brushed his jeans off.

Eren took a step up closer to the door. When Levi looked up at him, he was staring over his shoulder. 

Following his gaze, Levi’s blood chilled for a moment before a wave of nausea swept over him. His mouth dried. He couldn’t scour up enough spit to swish around and swallow. He hadn’t been expecting to see that silhouette so soon.

“Erwin? What are you doing here?”

“Eren invited me.”

Levi looked over his shoulder, eyes wide.

“I'm going to let you two talk.” Eren gave a small smile. His eyes were red. He dashed into the house and quietly closed the door behind him.


	14. Forcing Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW GUYS. The reactions from the last chapter was overwhelming :) It means so much to me that you all care for this story so much and that you are that invested in it.
> 
> I've been really worried about this chapter since I first planned out this fic. I've been holding off on writing it. As a whole, Erwin's character really pisses me off (especially with recent comments on his part in the manga), but I didn't want that to shine through because he has his logic. He's human with his own negative twists like everyone. And honestly, he's got an interesting mindset to explore. Needless to say, I'd never written him in much depth, and I feel like I cheated things with just having him in this chapter but...slowly push the comfort zone, right? As a whole, this chapter felt like a lot of pressure because it deals with such a heavy part of the story. I wanted this to be right. I hope it's there.
> 
> Anyways, enough rambling. Ya'll want to see what happens. (How many skipped this to read the chapter first and then came back to read?) I hope I did Erwin justice, and I hope that this satisfies you. Next time we see Levi approaching Eren. Then EPILOGUE! Whoo!

“Erwin,” Levi breathed out as he stared at the man in front of him. A rushing tidal wave crashed into his resistent body forcing him to give into everything he had been packing away. He really had run out on someone he cared for, thinking a letter left to be handed over by friends was suitable explanation.

The corner of Erwin’s lips twitch upward before steadying into an all too familiar straight line that felt detached and superior to the moment.

But Levi knew it.

It was how Erwin coped when he wasn’t sure what to do or how to feel.

“Levi.”

His knees buckled. His butt slammed into the cement steps. He winced but stayed put. His limbs hung slack at his sides. He didn’t know what to do. How...how was he supposed to handle this? How do you even start this conversation?

Eren was right. He saved his emotions and fears first. He was a coward, a runner. He fled under pressure.

He used to fight, tooth and nail. That’s what Erwin brought out viciously in him. That’s what he’d liked. But. Perhaps fighting had worn him to the point that fleeing was preservation.

Stepping forward and gesturing to the place on the step next to Levi, Erwin asked, “May I?”

Levi nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Erwin sighed as he sat down; his breath heavy as his shoulders slumped forward and leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees. His fingers clasped together between his knees.

“So,” Levi cleared his throat. “How’d...How’d you find me?”

“Eren...and Hanji.”

“Damn.” Levi huffed. “I knew she was up to something. The little…” he ran his fingers through his hair. “I even asked...She must think she’s so smug.” Levi glanced at Erwin. “She had that demonic glint in her eye didn’t she?”

“I would say it’s enthusiastic.”

“Conniving.” Levi tsked.

“Planning.”

“Busy-body.”

“Concerned friend,” Erwin countered.

Levi sighed. “Okay, but you really can’t tell me that the glint in her eye isn’t terrifying when she intercedes.”

He huffed; it sounded like a laugh in disguise. “You could say that and I may be inclined to agree with you.”

Silence lapped over them, ebbing and flowing until Levi asked, “How’d you get here so...”

“There’s a small airport just out of town. I managed to find a pilot. That car rental was bitch to find. And a bitch to drive.”

Levi’s eyes flickered to the battered car that Erwin had rattled down the street in. “I didn’t ask you to chase after me.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said. Hard and quiet.

He flinched at the tone of his voice. His mouth was drying out again.

Erwin let out a long breath through his nose. “I wouldn’t leave the apartment. I couldn’t. I kept thinking it was a test. I just had to wait, and you’d run back in.” His fingers scratched the palm of one hand. “But after three days--and Hanji’s insistence--I lost hope. I never thought I’d lose hope in you, Levi.”

“I never thought I’d stop fighting.”

“I certainly didn’t help.”

“Erwin,” Levi whispered. He pressed his lips together in a thin line.

“No. We are both in the wrong. You expressed mine quite clearly in your letter... I’m sorry you felt more like a project than a boyfriend. And I’m sorry that I created a situation that ultimately doused your fight instead of kindling it.”

“I wouldn’t say doused so much as creating a roaring blaze that turned and ate itself.”

Erwin cleared his throat and stared at his shoes. His knuckles whitened as he kept his hands clamped together. “I’m sorry I even created a situation.”

“We both did.” Levi turned his gaze to the empty street. “We saw what we wanted in each other, a quality we wish we had--or I wish I had. We were friends. It was easy.”

His lips quirked up. “What quality of mine did you want?”

“Your tenacity to just go and plan and build and do something. You got me to do that. I latched onto that. I wanted that.”

Erwin nodded his head and looked up to the sky. His eyes squinted as he studied the rounded edges of the one cloud in sight. “Maybe I was blinded by your potential more so than what you already were and watching the growth of that potential. I was always too focused on the future.”

“And I was too focused on the present,” Levi said. “It let me not worry when I ran.”

Erwin was silent. He cleared his throat, and when he spoke, his voice was tight. “Why did you?”

“Because I knew that if I looked at you, I’d feel guilty because you’ve always been so great. Or, you were before we dated. I _wanted_ it to work out. I _wanted_ it to be fine. And then…” Levi took a shuddering breath. “I just wanted it to be over.

“I think you’re right,” Levi said looking over at him.

“You almost sound surprised by that fact, Levi,” Erwin teased, meeting his eyes. A comfortable smile began to show on his lips.

Shaking his head, Levi let his own lips relax some. “We were both trying to mold the other, instead of just existing with the other. We’re compatible. We helped each other grow. There were some great times,” Levi assured, squeezing Erwin’s arm. “But with a relationship, I don’t think we fit together. Like puzzle pieces that look like they _should_ fit together but never _do._ Our edges just didn’t match perfectly.”

“Careful, Levi. You’re begin to sound like the old geezer you actually are.”

“Fuck off,” he retorted without venom. “I’m not that much older than you.”

“Still older. You’re the one who watches Jeopardy while playing sudoku.”

“And you do crossword puzzles.”

“It’s a mentally stimulating activity.” Erwin chuckled. “Okay, we’re both old.” Quieting down, he cleared his throat. “I think that makes sense. But, in puzzles, you tend to have multiple pieces fit into one.”

“Fine. I’m edge piece, you asshole. Only one piece will snap into place.”

“I think you might have another thing coming to you if Hanji and Isabella hear that.”

“Erwin,” Levi growled, pinching his nose.

“ _Okay._ Okay.” He paused. “I’m surprised you stayed out here this long.” Erwin pulled his shoulders back as he sat up taller.

“What do you mean?”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to just crash with strangers this long.”

“Well, I couldn’t deny a shower and bed.”

“That doesn’t explain more than one night.”

Levi’s eyes studied Farlan’s truck. He could see his luggage peeking up in the back window, but there was no duffel bag. He knew that there wasn’t a backpack on the passenger floor. And that no brunet mop of hair would pop up in the seat with eyes wide and ready for an adventure.

His heart hurt with that knowledge. The truck looked forlorn and empty.

“Levi?”

“Hm?”

“Did you hear me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. I just. Eren asked for me to stay a bit longer,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Moral support.”

Erwin hummed.

Levi didn’t like the sound of that. It was like the demonic glint in Hanji’s eyes, the quirked  head of Isabella, and the stern eyebrows of Farlan.

It meant planning.

The planning that meant they were seeing everything clearer than you.

“And you did?” Erwin asked.

“Well, yeah, it seemed rude to just leave him,” Levi defended.

The hum again. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“I didn’t get a moment’s rest. Eren always had something for us to do.” _Or I had something for us to do_.

“I didn’t ask if you got to relax. I asked if you enjoyed yourself. Energized and buzzed, a pleasant frustration. Were you content?”

His silence was the only answer needed. He picked at his fingernails, forcing the smallest piece of constant washing induced dryness into a pesky hangnail that kept growing.

“You know, there is something with that puzzle piece analogy though.”

“What?” Levi snapped.

Erwin cocked an eyebrow.

Taking a breath, he asked a bit more courteously, “What?”

Shaking his head, he turned his eyes to Farlan’s truck. His brows cast a shadow over his eyes. “You always keep trying to make one piece fit, but it doesn’t. It should. You keep trying because maybe this time it _will_ fit. But, it never does. You may force it a while, but eventually you chuck it away. And then a piece shows up at your elbow. It’s unexpectedly what you were looking for even though it looks completely unassuming and you don’t even recognize it.”

Heat bloomed on Levi’s cheeks: an outside reflection of the inner warmth growing in the pit of his stomach.

He startled when Erwin’s fingers traced the apple of his cheeks. His thumb stroked Levi’s chin as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. He pulled away with a sad smile.

“You fell in love, Levi.”

He blinked. His eyes flickered to the house window. A familiar pair of shoulders quickly darted out of view. His heart swelled; it felt like it was choking him. He felt like his emotions had been magnified.

“I guess I did.”

“I tried, but I couldn't fool myself. I know you loved me at some point, and I’m happy that I was at least that for part of your life.”

“I still do,” Levi assured him.

“But, I know you can't be in love with me. I never got that from you. It's time I stopped trying to get it.”

Erwin pulled his hand away and stood up. He dusted his pants off and turned around to face Levi. Taking the cue, he stood up, too.

Smiling, he jutted his chin to the house and winked. “He's cute. I wish you the best of luck. I'm glad to see you happy.”

“Friends?” Levi asked, his voice cracking from the pressure of his heart in his throat.

His gaze softened. “Of course, Levi.”

Stepping forward, Levi wrapped his arms around Erwin’s waist and buried his face in his chest. Erwin’s arms draped around him and gave a soft squeeze. Levi returned the gesture and pulled away.

“Now, seeing as Eren just peeked back out and ducked away, I’d take it that you have some things you might want to go and discuss with him now.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you when you get back. I won’t be in the apartment though. Let us know when you head back, okay?” he instructed with a small smile.

Levi nodded. “Yeah.”

With a curt nod of his head, Erwin began to walk away.

“Do you want to come in for a drink or something before you go?” Levi called out.

Erwin paused and glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t think it’s your place to invite someone into the house.” He smiled. “Not yet, anyway. You may inherit in the future. Invite me then.” With a wave over his shoulder he kept walking.

Levi stood on the steps and watched as he climbed into the old car and clattered down the road without a look back.

Taking a deep breath, he steeled his shoulders.

It was time to start fighting again.


	15. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another chapter so soon? It is! I finished this today and just edited it. I didn't want to keep ya'll waiting. We're in the sprint to the finish line! If there are any grammatical errors, I apologize. I'll probably catch them in two weeks when I scroll through this fic on a whim when I'm bored or have writer's block. 
> 
> The epilogue is also ready to go! (It's been ready for nearly the last six months, but that's besides the point.) I'll get that up tomorrow!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! It finally happens! It only took 35k+ words to get there!

Of course, with that decision, he couldn’t make up his mind on whether or not to walk in through the side door or to knock on the front one.

He ran his fingers through his hair and massaged the base of his neck. The strands there were getting long and tickling the middle of his neck.  _ I need to get it cut.  _ He shook his head.  _ Focus _ . 

Levi was saved from making a decision by the front door opening.

A sheepish Eren stepped out. One hand stuffed resolutely in his pocket. The other grasped a plastic Wal-Mart bag. His eyes focused down at his shoes. He toed the pavement for a second before handing out the bag.

“I made some food. Threw in some snacks. I figured since I ate your food, the least I could do was prepare some more for the way back.”

“Thanks.” Levi grabbed the bag and fiddled with the plastic handles. A piece had come loose, and he ripped it off creating a tear in the handle.

He cleared his throat and switch hands, letting the plastic slice into a different palm. 

“I guess you should be heading out soon.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you and Erwin going to be heading back together?”

“No.”

Nodding, Eren shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. “Cool. Um…you should probably get that in the ice chest, you know, make sure it all stays safe to eat and all.”

“Yeah.” Levi backed away, keeping his eyes on Eren until he reached the sidewalk. After getting the food in the ice chest, Levi turned back to the front steps. Eren was resolutely not looking in his direction. 

Taking a deep breath to try and calm his race heart, Levi licked his lips and stuffed his hands in his pockets.  _ Now or never _ . He took the first step forward.

In a blink he was standing at the bottom of the steps looking up at Eren.

“Do you--uh--need to use the bathroom again?” Eren asked.

“No.”

He nodded. His hair hung around his face, blocking Levi’s view of his expression.

“You lied.”

_ Great way to start _ , Levi reprimanded himself.

Eren’s eyes shot up to his briefly before settling on his throat. “About what?”

“You said Hanji didn’t say anything.”

A huffed, forced laugh covered by a cough. “That would ruin the surprise.”

Levi stepped up. He was only one below Eren now, and the brunet still towered over him. Of course he did. He didn’t need a four inch step height advantage to do so. But, Levi couldn’t work up enough aggravation to care that his face was at the perfect level to rest his forehead on Eren’s chest. “It was quite a surprise.”

Eren looked up. His eyes flashed as they latched onto Levi’s. He threw his shoulders back and nodded before jutting his chin out. “I don’t regret it.”

Levi cocked his head, and Eren’s confidence crumbled. He backed up against the door, bracing himself with one hand against the frame. His fingernail scraped away at the peeling white paint.

“Look, I know you're pissed. You've got every right to be. I just—I just figured you needed a push. And you looked like shit.” Eren winced. “Okay, that came out wrong. It look like you felt like shit. I knew you wanted to patch things up. And Hanji called and you said to answer and I picked up and we...I guess I had a bit of hope that you could work things out, like me and Armin. I know it was a different situation. But. It was worth a shot. I'm sorry, but not really, okay?” He took a deep breath and turned to face Levi, his body rigid. “You can punch me now.”

“Why would I punch you?”

The tension in Eren’s body dropped before slowly creeping back in. “But, aren't you pissed? Didn't—”

Levi looked away. His eyes turned to face down the street where he had gotten his last glimpse of Erwin. “I was at first. Then I was surprised. And after talking with Erwin I realized how thankful I was,” he said turning back.

His face brightened up, but not yet risking a smile. He looked like a hopeful puppy. “You—you aren't mad?”

“Now, no. It certainly wasn’t your place to go and do something like that, but I’m happy you did.”

His smile was so brilliant it made Levi's chest hurt. It faltered for a second, but it quickly came back, though not as dazzling as before. The sparkle was fake now. “So you two worked it out? You're getting back together.”

He shook his head. “No. We're going to try this friend thing again though.”

“W-why? Why didn't it work out? I thought—”

“Things don't always work out how we think.”

“I know, but...” Eren’s eyes fell again. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to swallow. His chest shook as he took a breath. “I just wanted you to be happy. To smile, and I thought if you worked out things with him, you would be.”

“It wouldn't happen.” Levi stepped up the final step.

Eren’s fingers tightened on the door frame. Confusion creased the skin between his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because I'm in love with someone else,” he whispered.

Eren's eyes flashed up to meet Levi’s. His chest rose and fell rapidly; his mouth cracked open slightly.

Levi stepped closer. Each inch shrinking their distance also shrunk the amount of oxygen he could hold in his lungs. “And I’ve felt like shit because I’ve been drowning in his presence unable to say anything, not fully realizing the extent of my own attachment beyond knowing I  _ never _ wanted to leave his presence even if it meant always struggling for breath, and worried that he wouldn’t feel the same attachment to some strange man.”

“I’m sure he does,” Eren whispered. His fingers slipped from the doorframe and slapped against his thigh. A quivering quirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “He just thought you only saw him as some annoying kid.”

“Well, he is an absolute a handful,” he said, his voice cracking it was so low. He pushed his fingers through brunet strands and held them tightly. He pulled their faces together until their foreheads touched and their noses brushed against each other. “And I fully mean that as I compliment, you little shit.”

“Ass,” Eren muttered around a shaky laugh as he pressed their lips together. His arms wrapped around Levi’s waist and pulled him close. 

Levi’s fingers grew sore clutching onto him so tightly. His ribcage hurt from the pounding of his heart. His stomach felt empty and soaring as if he had just fallen back in the most important trust fall of his life.

Letting his lips slide away, Eren took a deep breath. He kept his eyes closed and placed his forehead against Levi’s. “Part of me wants to lift you up and spin you.” He opened his eyes and stared into Levi’s. “But, I’m pretty sure you’d kill me if I did that.”

“I’m also pretty sure I would.”

Eren chuckled. “We’ll compromise.”

“Wha--” Levi began to ask as he spied a dangerous crinkle around his eyes.

Eren’s arms tightened around him and hoisted him up. His feet dangled off the ground; he couldn’t even scrape the pavement with his toes. Warm lips pressed against the underside of his chin. Levi looked down at a smirking Eren who kissed the hollow of his neck.

Tsking, he tilted Eren’s head back and leaned down to peck his lips. He had to admit; he liked the new angle. He let his fingers trace each angle of Eren’s face that his eyes had already memorized. His lips never harder than the lightest touch on Eren’s. Soon, they also set about tracing Eren’s face.

The door opened.

“Will you two stop making out in public? Come inside. Eren, Mom wants to meet your new boyfriend.”

The two pulled away in a flushed fluster.

Mikasa smirked at her success and making both of them blush and strutted back into the house.

Eren cleared his throat and looked out into the garden.

Levi chuckled and kissed his cheek, patting his shoulder. “Could you put me down? Shit. I feel like a kid.”

“Uh. Yeah. Sorry,” he rushed out as he set Levi down.

“No apologies. I liked being taller than you.”

He smiled and kissed Levi’s forehead. “Don’t get used to it. I like tucking you under my chin.” Entwining their fingers, Eren guided them inside to his smiling mom who had a playful glint in her eye.

“Mom, I’d like to introduce you to Levi,” he said, gesturing to each of them with his hand. “Levi, my mom.”

“And who might this be, Eren?” She quirked an eyebrow up.

Eren’s fingers squeezed Levi’s. “The man I love.” He smiled and knocked their shoulders together. “Or at least, really, really, care for thoroughly enjoy being around.”

Levi shook his head.

“And you, Levi.”

“You’re son’s tolerable.” He deadpanned.

“Ouch.” Eren gripped his heart with his free hand.

Levi’s gaze flickered between each of Eren’s eyes, trying to decided where to keep his attention, where it would truly connect him to Eren, where it would convey the depths of the hot springs bubbling in his gut. “He’s a wonderful man who I never thought I needed to be shoved into my life.”

“Hitchhiking Hook-ups,” Mikasa cut in. “Sounds like a reality show. Aw. You can be the first episode.”

“Mikasa,” Eren groaned.

She ignored him and turned to look at Levi. “I hope you realize that this gives me full permission to give you as much shit as possible.”

“I would expect nothing less, but anticipate it to be returned.”

She smiled and crossed her arms. “I’d expect nothing less.”

“Okay, now kiss you two.”

“Mom! My whole family. Jesus. Can we just elope? Or something?” Eren whined, resting his head on Levi’s shoulder.

“I am a dying woman who wants to see her son happy and kissing the man he loves. I didn’t think that was a crime. Now kiss,” she teased.

His head turned so he could look at his mom without leaving Levi’s shoulder. “Are you really holding that over my head?”

“Yes.”

Levi laughed and took at his phone. 

“What are you doing?” Eren asked, placing a kiss on his temple

“If I don’t tell Hanji and Isabel about this now, I’m dead the second they find out from anyone not me.”

Taking his phone from his head, Eren turned on the selfie mode. 

“What are you doing?”

“Sending picture proof. I can’t let my love’s life be threatened by a failure to inform friends thoroughly on the latest gossip,” he said and kissed him.

Mikasa groaned.

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s neck and flipped her off as he deepened the kiss. 

She snorted. Carla was laughing. Eren’s lips were on his, and his warmth surrounded Levi, and he felt full and alive.

As something clicked in place in his chest, he felt whole.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for staying with me for this fic! It means so much, and I'm glad ya'll enjoyed it. Thanks for the shared journey :)
> 
> With this last update, this fic comes to an end.

“Oh my God, I forgot to tell you about what Hanji said today in class,” Eren said as he dumped his plate into the hot, sudsy water to await Levi's meticulous scrubbing.

“Do I want to know?”

“Probably not, but it was a hoot.”

“It would not surprise me if she actually started to do that.”

“I think the last of the class's sanity would finally leave. That's why I love to TA for her. I like watching the freshman stare at her in horror as they try to figure out if this is what all of college is like.”

“You're mean.”

“No more than you with your kids. At least I don't plan on doing it for a living.”

“Did she accept you for the internship yet?”

“No.” He scratched the back of his neck and had the decency to look ashamed. “I still need to finish the essay.”

“Eren!”

“What? She gave me an extension.”

“In good faith, not to be abused,” Levi reprimanded as he rolled up his sleeves and began scrubbing.

Eren wrinkled his nose and hopped up on the counter. “I'm not. I'm trying to find a topic.”

“How many topics are there when it comes to the daytime habits of screech owls?”

“Many.” Eren shook his head and stared at Levi's methodical movements. “You have a perfectly good dishwasher.”

“I know.”

“So why don't you use it?”

“I do.”

“But you wash them all by hand.”

“And?”

“Isn't that a waste of water?”

“Nothing is a waste when it comes to cleanliness.”

Eren leaned over and dipped his hands in the suds, coming away with a cupped hand of foam.

Levi leaned back from the sink and stared at him. “What are you doing?”

Smiling, Eren took a deep breath and blew. Suds spluttered from his hands and coated Levi's face, hair, and chest.

He rattled his lips, spraying some of the bubbles onto Eren who was howling with laughter.

“Yeah. Laugh it up,” Levi grumbled.

Eren pressed a finger between Levi's eyebrows and smoothed out the skin in between. “Don't frown. You'll give yourself wrinkles.” His thumbs traced over his eyebrows and massaged his forehead. His hands glazed over Levi's face before settling on his shoulders and rubbing those.

Levi pulled his hands from the sudsy water and flicked what clung to them on Eren.

He shrieked and leaned away. “Hey! Not fair.”

“Careful!” Levi shouted, grabbing his collar and yanking him away from where his head nearly hit the cabinets.

Eren smiled and tightened his grip on Levi, pulling him closer to the counter until he stood between his legs.

Wrapping his arms around his waist, Levi buried his face in Eren's chest, intently listening to the strong beat of his heart. He let himself be soothed by it and the constant rhythm of Eren's steady breathing.

Chuckling, Eren rested his chin on Levi's head and held him tighter.

After a moment, Levi pulled back and set to work again cleaning the dishes.

Eren huffed. “You suck.”

“Why?”

“All that work for a cute, romantic moment, and I don't even get a sudsy kiss. Honestly you—”

Levi reached over and grasped Eren's face, guiding him towards him and planting a kiss on his lips. He released him and turned back to the sink. Smirking, he glanced over to see Eren staring at him, flabbergasted; his mouth hung open. His hair was spiked with suds, and water and bubbles dripped down his cheeks and dripped onto his shirt.

Blinking, he shook himself and pouted.

“What?” Levi asked, as he went back to scrubbing a plate. “You got your kiss.”

“You're a tease, old man. You know that, right?”

“Brat,” he shot back.

“You love me.”

Levi paused and dried his hands. He tapped Eren's knees and pulled him closer to the edge of the counter. He stepped into the V and drug his hands up Eren's legs before resting them on his hips. He leaned forward and kissed the hollow of Eren neck; the bitter taste of soap bit his tongue.

“I do,” he whispered against the skin.

Eren shivered.

He kissed the hollow of his neck again. He kissed his collarbone, the underside of his chin, his jaw, the sensitive spot under his earlobe.

“Fucking tease,” Eren murmured.

Levi's lips ghosted over his, brushing against them as he said, “But you love me.”

He sighed. “I do.”

The gap between them closed.

Pulling back, Eren wrapped his arms tightly around Levi's neck, pressing their cheeks close together.

He was so warm.

“I was thinking we should head out to the ocean.”

“Really?” Eren sat up and actually banged his head on the cabinet this time. He hissed in pain.

Levi groaned and pulled him off the counter-top before grabbing an ice pack out of his freezer. He had never used these until Eren moved in. Now, it seemed like it was a struggle to keep at least one frozen.

“Thanks.” Eren winced when he put it against the back of his head. “Now. What was that about a road trip to the ocean?”

“I never said anything about a road trip.”

“But you did say ocean.”

“Yes.”

“So, road trip. Do you really think I'd accept any other form of travel?”

“I don't know. You might get tired of me and find someone to hitchhike a ride from.”

Eren frowned. He set the ice pack on the counter. He stepped forward and rubbed Levi's arms. “I'm  _ never _ going to be tired of you. How could I?” He pressed their foreheads together and rubbed his nose against Levi's. “I felt like a ghost before I met you.”

“And now?” Levi breathed out.

He pressed their lips together. He tugged lightly on Levi's upper-lip when he pulled back. Squeezing his shoulders, he said, “I feel alive.”

“Me too.”

“You not gonna run on me, huh?” he teased.

Levi's heart squeezed in pain.

Eren froze. “Sorry. I just—”

“No. No. It's fine.”

“No, it's not. Ah. Dammit. Sorry. I just.”

“Eren.”

“I just.” He gasped. “I worry that I'm going to suffocate you and you won't like me anymore. I'm scared that one day you're going to wake up and decide that you can't do this anymore and you just leave without talking to me and I won't know what happened or what I did or if we could work it out.”

“Eren.”

“And don't know what I'd do. I'm scared that I'm going to wake up one day and you won't be there.”

“Eren,” Levi insisted, quiet and firm. He grabbed his face and rubbed his thumbs under Eren's eyes, collecting the dribbling tears.

He stopped talking and stared at Levi.

He kissed the tip of his nose. “How long have we been together?”

“Three years.”

“And I haven't gotten tired. I think that's a good sign.”

“But—”

“Let me finish, please. I don't want you digging yourself into this hole. You just shut down a joke I made in fear. Let me do the same, all right.”

He nodded.

“Good.” He shifted his weight between his feet and reached down for one of Eren's hand with one of his own. “Now listen, I have never felt suffocated by you. You aren't Erwin. I'm not your father. You are here for me; you're comforting.” He pressed a kiss to the center of Eren's palm, listening to the quick intake of air that whistled between his lips. Massaging his palm, he kissed the tips of each finger.

“I can't imagine my life without you,” he continued, his voice rough. “Maybe there will be a day, that you tease a bit too far or I just need to get away from everyone—you, Hanji, Isabel, everyone. And I'll tell. I'll tell you. I'm not going to leave you to hang high and dry. I love you. If that day ever comes, I will tell you. I didn't handle that well with Erwin, but I learned. I will tell you if I have a problem.” Levi held Eren's hand close to his chest.

“And I'll listen and give you your space.”

“See? And we'll talk. Like now. It won't be perfect, let's be honest, but we'll  _ be  _ honest.”

“Hanji said we're the most stubborn people and couple she met—which was something, because she hadn't thought anyone could beat Erwin, she said.”

Levi laughed. “Yeah.” He held their foreheads together. “I won't leave you.” He sighed. “I was hoping the ocean would elicited a happier reaction than this.”

“It's not too late to go back to kissing.” Eren smirked.

“No, we needed this.” Levi dragged his hands down Eren's side. “I'll be right back. I was hoping to hold off until the ocean for this.”

“What?” Eren perked up and followed him into the bedroom as Levi riffled through his sock drawer.

He found the box and tossed it to Eren. He crossed his arms and leaned against the dresser to watch Eren open the box.

His eyes bulged comically wide. His jaw hung limp. He shut the box and his jaw with a clack, and then he opened the box again. “Is this?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. I know I'm not the ideal partner.”

“Uh-uh.” Eren tore his eyes away from the ring to glare at Levi. “No fears. No hesitations. Nothing. No ifs, ands, unsurities. We are going to enjoy this perfectly us engagement, okay? Now come kiss me.”

Levi chuckled and obeyed.

“Now put this ring on my finger like a proper gentleman.”

“So pushy.” He grabbed the ring from Eren and knelt.

“You love it.”

Levi's fingers grazed over the back of Eren's hand. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the skin there as he slid the ring on. He pressed a kiss to his stomach and then slowly made his way up. The muscles under Eren's shirt twitched at the gentle touch. His breaths came out in short huffs. Levi paused for a moment over Eren's lips.

“I do,” he whispered.

“I do, too.”


End file.
